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Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion g68L
This is very common issue in modern lif. Some people think that governments should support to creative artists and others people believe that they should be funded by different sources. I totally agree with this statement governments should give them good facility. Firstly, Some of creative people in the world is very rear like painter, musicians, sports man. We have many sport event and a lot of people play games but you can not find a good number creative players from their. Also painting is a very good side to showing your creative thinks. In the modernn world we have lot of printers but if you surch some defrient art you can realize that is very few numbers. Thousand of musicians live in our country but classical musician is very rear. If you look in modern world you should know that Selena Gomez, Michel Jackson, Justine Baber they are totally defrient artists, you can not find these type singer regularly. Creative person come in the world very rear time. The Governments should take good care of them. Some time the person come fumes they get money but they do not know how to use because they never take a good counseling, some of them very popular in their early age and they have wrong guide that why they take wrong step regularly.
This is
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very
common issue in modern
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lif
.
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Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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think
that
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governments
should support to
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creative
artists
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and others
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people
believe that they should
be funded
by
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different
sources. I
totally
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agree
with this statement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facility.

Firstly
,
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Some
of
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creative
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people
in the
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world
is
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very
rear like painter, musicians, sports
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man
. We have
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many
sport
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event
and
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a lot of
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people
play games
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but
you can not find a
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good
number
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creative
players from their.
Also
painting is a
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very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side to showing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
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thinks
. In the
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modernn
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world
we have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
printers
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but
if you
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surch
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some
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defrient
art you can realize
that is
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very
few numbers.

Use "a Thousand" or use a number before 'Thousand'.
Thousand
of musicians
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live
in our country
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but
classical musician is
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very
rear. If you look in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
you should know that Selena Gomez, Michel Jackson, Justine
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baber
they are
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
defrient
artists, you can not find these type singer
regularly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Creative
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
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world
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very
rear time. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
care of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
fumes they
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get
money
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but
they do not know how to
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use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they never take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
counseling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in their early
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
guide that why they take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
step
regularly
.

IELTS essay Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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