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some people say that advertising is extreamely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

some people say that advertising is extreamely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it 2BPj
Currently, the discourse regarding advertisement is increasingly topical. Many experts believe that people habits of product procurements are successfully driven by advertising, while others argue that we are not determined by the advertisement anymore due to the fact that it has been too mainstream. I will put forth the main idea of both sides and state that the former is valid because people consider whether they will buy any things or not based on advertising. The main reason for this is that people will perceive what the media said about some products that they are really intended. In other words, they will turn on the television or open newspaper to search a number of viable solutions that are provided by numerous ads. For instance, based on the BBC survey in 2020, the majority of British house-wife tend to watch product advertisements that are broadcasted by the national television stations in the commercial break times. Moreover, they will join to the programme interactions that are concentrated on the product knowledge and direct sales for gaining special prices. On the other hand, we cannot defend the fact that nowadays, the world is over loaded by the plethora of ads which is extremely familiar. Nevertheless, this do not mean that people would skip it because, believe it or not, people retain it as their habits in selecting the number of products prior to buying them. As illustrations, in the our cuurent digital era, people have been overwhelmed by the amount of advertising that tend to be more personal within all human media devices, including smartphones. Fortunately, these situation alter people lives being more efficient because they are not required to do any efforts when they need some information regarding a product. To sum up, people behaviours of buying items are lead by the presence of advertisement that provides the amount of product information. Although this kind of message have been significantly viral, howaver, people retail to access it because of they need it.
Currently
, the discourse regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
increasingly
topical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
Possible spelling mistake found.
procurements
are
successfully
driven by advertising, while others argue that we are not determined by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
anymore due to the fact that it has been too mainstream. I will put forth the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of both sides and state that the former is valid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider whether they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any things or not based on advertising.

The main reason for this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will perceive what the media said about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they are
really
intended.
In other words
, they will turn on the television or open newspaper to search a number of viable solutions that
are provided
by numerous ads.
For instance
, based on the BBC survey in 2020, the majority of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-wife tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that
are broadcasted
by the national television stations in the commercial break times.
Moreover
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
interactions that
are concentrated
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
knowledge and direct sales for gaining special prices.

On the other hand
, we cannot defend the fact that nowadays, the world is over loaded by the plethora of ads which is
extremely
familiar.
Nevertheless
,
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "this does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this do
not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would skip it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, believe it or not,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
retain it as their habits in selecting the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
prior to buying them. As illustrations, in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our cuurent" or "the cuurent"?
the our cuurent
digital era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been overwhelmed
by the amount of advertising that tend to be more personal within all human media devices, including smartphones.
Fortunately
, these situation alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
being more efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not required to do any efforts when they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regarding a product.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of buying items are lead by the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that provides the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
information. Although this kind of message have been
significantly
viral,
Possible spelling mistake found.
howaver
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
retail to access it
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
need it.
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IELTS essay some people say that advertising is extreamely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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