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Some people think that government should provide financial help to artists muscecians

Some people think that government should provide financial help to artists muscecians wnokY
People have different views about funding for creative artists. While some argue that governments should not financially support them, I agree with the idea that money for art projects should come from both governments and other sources. On the one hand, it is understandable for people to disagree with the idea of governmental funding for artists. The main reason is that governments have more pressing concerns. For example, a state budget needs to be spent on a wide variety of areas ranging from education, healthcare to security, transportation that will be beneficial for all members of society. Whereas, a creative artists' work is still considered a luxury or a leisure experience rather than creating social values. Another reason is that such artists have already earned their own money by selling their artworks, and other sources of support seem unnecessary. In Vietnam, a number of musicians have become wealthy because of getting a copyright for their music and collecting royalties from thousands of users across the world. On the other hand, some art projects require help from the state. Some artworks representing a nation's historical and cultural heritage need to be introduced to the rest of the world. Additionally, they serve to educate people about a city or as hallmarks attracting visitors. For example, the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology, which features significant artworks, such as paintings, sculptures created by 54 Vietnam's ethnic groups, conserves cultural values and allows young generations to discover their roots. Moreover, such a place as a tourist destination plays a vital role in promoting the local tourism industry. Thus, governments and other local organizations should pay for creative artists to produce those kinds of art because, without their artwork, our cities would not be unique and captivating. In conclusion, the works produced by creative artists can positively influence our society, so both governments and other institutions should financially support them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about funding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not
financially
support them, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that money for art projects should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources.

On the one hand, it is understandable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of governmental funding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. The main reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have more pressing concerns.
For example
, a state budget needs to
be spent
on a wide variety of areas ranging from education, healthcare to security, transportation that will be beneficial for all members of society. Whereas, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
artists' work is
still
considered a luxury or a leisure experience
rather
than creating social values. Another reason is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have already earned their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money by selling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources of support seem unnecessary. In Vietnam, a number of musicians have become wealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of getting a copyright for their music and collecting royalties from thousands of users across the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
art projects require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the state.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
representing a nation's historical and cultural heritage need to
be introduced
to the rest of the world.
Additionally
, they serve to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about a city or as hallmarks attracting visitors.
For example
, the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology, which features significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
, such as paintings, sculptures created by 54
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (54). Did you mean "Vietnams" or "Vietnams'"?
Vietnam's
ethnic groups, conserves cultural values and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
young generations to discover their roots.
Moreover
, such a place as a tourist destination plays a vital role in promoting the local tourism industry.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
local organizations should pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to produce those kinds of art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
, our cities would not be unique and captivating.

In conclusion
, the works produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can
positively
influence our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
institutions should
financially
support them.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government should provide financial help to artists muscecians

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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