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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or agree with this view? v.5

There are many artists who make works that impress a lot of people such as Leonardo da Vinci who made Mona Lisa. If they had not been supported by anyone, these famous works wouldn’t exist. As a fan of artists, I don’t agree with the view. In this essay, I will discuss these views from the standpoint of a person who loves arts and supports them. 

First of all, I have been to The National Gallery, London. There are a lot of people who came to look at the artwork. I realised that some people look forward to seeing these works of art and I didn’t know the artwork Besides artists are only able to pass on to our future generations what is happening in this era via their artwork. This is so important because it allows them to understand our way of life and history in the twenty first century through something that has impact and is meaningful. 

On the other hand, people who are not interested in the artwork and do not appreciate it. From people who cannot see the rue value of art, I can understand why they say that supporting artists and keeping quality of famous arts in a museum and university and so on are a wasting of money. 

To conclude, I think art is something that supports people’s hearts in every era, it truly has the power of changing someone’s life. Therefore, I believe that the government shouldn’t cut costs for arts and people who have negative opinions should be kind and cheer to artists.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
works that impress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as Leonardo da Vinci
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
made Mona Lisa. If they had not
been supported
by anyone, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
works wouldn’t exist. As a fan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view. In this essay, I will discuss these views from the standpoint of a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and supports them.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace



Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, I have been to The National Gallery, London. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came to look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
. I
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realised’ is British English.
realised
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look forward to seeing these works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and I didn’t know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to pass on to our future generations what is happening in this era via their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to understand our way of life and history in the twenty
first
century through something that has impact and is meaningful.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace



On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not interested in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
and do not appreciate it. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the rue value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, I can understand why they say that supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and keeping quality of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in a museum and university and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are a wasting of money.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace



To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is something that supports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
hearts in every era, it
truly
has the power of changing someone’s life.
Therefore
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
costs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinions should be kind and cheer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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