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Some people think that giving aids to the poor countries has more negative impacts than positive ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that giving aids to the poor countries has more negative impacts than positive ones. LqO0K
Recently, it is universally believed that giving aids to the poor countries has been gaining its popularity at an incredible rate. However, I agree that giving aids to the poor countries has more positive impact. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views.  Some people believe that giving aids to the poor countries brings significant benefits to a country, since it plays a very effective role in the field of education in general, as it enriches people's knowledge and gives them the freedom to make action and steps about any think it is correct for the country or state. Furthermore, giving aids to the poor countries has a lot of good sides as it is not only for individuals and families but also for the whole society. Finally giving aids to the poor countries has a lot of advantages, as it plays a crucial role improving many sectors in the state or country. Also, it pushes the stability of the whole world forward. As every garden has weeds, there would be some disadvantages also. Firstly, it is well known that giving aids to the poor countries has a great impact on people's life, as it can cause health issues such as stress, depression and affecting the mental health. Secondly, giving aids to the poor countries could have a negative impact on education and would affect the quality of it resulting in poor education. Finally, the overall cost of giving aids to the poor countries can affect the whole society from different dimensions. In conclusion, it is clear that both sides of the arguments have their merits. However, everything in life has pros and cons. Thus, people should determine which way to choose.
Recently, it is
universally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been gaining its popularity at an incredible rate.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views.



This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
brings significant benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, since it plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective role in the field of education
in general
, as it enriches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's knowledge and gives them the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
action and steps about any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is correct for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or state.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides as it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for individuals and families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the whole society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages, as it plays a crucial role improving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors in the state or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Also
, it pushes the stability of the whole world forward.

As every garden has weeds, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
also
.
Firstly
, it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a great impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life, as it can cause health issues such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression and affecting the mental health.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on education and would affect the quality of it resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
education.
Finally
, the
overall
cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can affect the whole society from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dimensions.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that both sides of the arguments have their merits.
However
, everything in life has pros and cons.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should determine which way to choose.
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IELTS essay Some people think that giving aids to the poor countries has more negative impacts than positive ones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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