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health expert say that walking is a good way to improve the health of the general

health expert say that walking is a good way to improve the health of the general kjN2n
Health is a significant point for a human’s life, and it’s necessary for an individual to know how to watch out of themselves. Best way to improve our wellbeing is walking, do exercise and pay attention to our diet. Currently, people forget to think about their essential need such as take care of themselves. What are the reason for this issue and how we can solve this problem? The world is going through rapid changes without good management because most people are addicted to technology and widespread modern life styles. As result, people are walking less. Moreover, people transport by various means such as trains and planes so there is less need for people to walk.
Health is a significant point for a human’s life, and it’s necessary for an individual to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
out of themselves.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Best".
Best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
is walking, do exercise and pay attention to our diet.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their essential need such as take care of themselves. What are the reason for this issue and how we can solve this problem?

The world is going through rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to technology and widespread modern life styles. As result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are walking less.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transport by various means such as trains and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is less need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to walk.
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IELTS essay health expert say that walking is a good way to improve the health of the general

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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