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Some people think that food science is more important that other subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that food science is more important that other subjects. aA137
It is believed by some people that knowledge about food subject is pivotal for students. Because of this subject, they can easily learn food preparing skills in school. However, others believe that students should spend time on important subjects than science because of several reasons which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. There are ample of reasons why other people think that students should spend more time on paramount subjects. First and foremost point is that most of the students do more focus on food science subject due to this they have less knowledge about other subjects. Pupils do not get good grades, which would not be good for their future as well as they cannot get a better job because of lack of knowledge about other subjects. Second point is that they will face many difficulties in their life. Many students choose home science subject rather than others. In the future, if they not become a good chief then they have other job opportunities. For example, in 2015 national organizations conducted a survey and showed 87% students had lack of knowledge of other subjects. However, I believe that pupils should study the science of food because they can learn easily how to prepare food. Firstly, nowadays most of the students want to study in foreign nations, if they have knowledge about culinary skills, students can easily make food as well as they can get job. For example, in abroad there are a lot of jobs related to food science. So, pupils will get better job opportunities. Secondly, if students learn this subjects in school, they can manage their health and fitness because they will learn what is right and wrong for health. In conclusion, although it is more advantages for students, lack of knowledge about other subjects is better for pupils life.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is pivotal for
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students
.
Because of this
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subject
, they can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in school.
However
, others believe that
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students
should spend time on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs.

There are ample of reasons why
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend more time on paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
First
and foremost point is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do more focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
due to this they have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pupils
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades, which would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their future
as well
as they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Second point is that they will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
rather
than others. In the future, if they not become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chief then they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
For example
, in 2015 national organizations conducted a survey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
87%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.

However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
easily
how to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, nowadays most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to study in foreign nations, if they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, in abroad there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in school, they can manage their health and fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for health.

In conclusion
, although it is more advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that food science is more important that other subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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