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Some people think that experiments on animals is cruel whereas others are aginest them. discuss other views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that experiments on animals is cruel whereas others are aginest them. discuss other views and give your opinion. v. 1
It is argued that the need to get married among women is phased out since they have become financially independent these days. While I contend that being self-sufficient is one of the reasons for this way of life, I also believe that there are many other factors that come into play. It is undeniable that the very reason why a woman in the past had to marry was financial reliance. Obviously, two decades ago, men were prominently the breadwinner in the house, being responsible for putting the food on the table. By contrast, women were unfortunately not allowed to pursue both an education and a career, which led them in circumstances in which they have to live off someone else. As a result, marriage was considered a natural bond between the two parties; however, in essence, was seen as a promise to offer financial security of the man to his spouse. As women’s rights have been espoused in many parts of the world, women have become more self-sufficient than ever, rendering marriage unnecessary and irrelevant. However, financial elements are not exclusively responsible for this shift in mentality about marriage among women. The fact that women are no longer bounded by social conventions about the need of having a family is another contributing factor. In other words, the weaker sex is no longer restricted to the role of stay-at-home moms and is free to pursue whatever goals they set, leaving marriage being a choice, not an obligation. Therefore, being single, both for men and women, is a socially acceptable lifestyle, just as the case with making decisions about having a child or not. In conclusion, the ability to support themselves enables women have more choice in the marriage aspect. Nevertheless, social elements such as attitudes towards marriage and women in general are just as important.
It
is argued
that the need to
get
married among
women
is phased
out since they have become
financially
independent these days. While I contend that being self-sufficient is one of the reasons for this way of life, I
also
believe that there are
many
other factors that
come
into play.

It is undeniable that the
very
reason why a woman in the past had to marry was financial reliance.
Obviously
, two decades ago,
men
were
prominently
the breadwinner in the
house
, being responsible for putting the food on the table. By contrast,
women
were unfortunately not
allowed
to pursue both an education and a career, which led them in circumstances in which they
have to
live
off someone else.
As a result
,
marriage
was considered
a natural bond between the two parties;
however
, in essence, was
seen
as a promise to offer financial security of the
man
to his spouse. As
women’s
rights have
been espoused
in
many
parts of the world,
women
have become more self-sufficient than ever, rendering
marriage
unnecessary and irrelevant.

However
, financial elements are not exclusively responsible for this shift in mentality about
marriage
among
women
. The fact that
women
are no longer bounded by social conventions about the need of having a family is another contributing factor.
In other words
, the
weaker sex
is no longer restricted to the role of stay-at-home moms and is free to pursue whatever goals they set, leaving
marriage
being a choice, not an obligation.
Therefore
, being single, both for
men
and
women
, is a
socially
acceptable lifestyle,
just
as the case with making decisions about having a child or not.

In conclusion
, the ability to support themselves enables
women
have more choice in the
marriage
aspect.
Nevertheless
, social elements such as attitudes towards
marriage
and
women
in general
are
just
as
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that experiments on animals is cruel whereas others are aginest them. discuss other views and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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