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Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

It is irrefutable that education plays a vital role in building the carrier of people. Therefore, some group of civilians holds the opinion that every person has right for education, so national authority should implement free tuition for everyone who pursues higher education. I largely disagree with the aforesaid notion and my disagreement on the basis of explanations provided further. On the one hand, there are myriad understable reasons why the tuition fee should not be free. Firstly, unqualified students takes the advantage of free education while deserving students choose an alternative path. To illustrates this, if the government does free education for all people, then overqualified students will suffer to enroll in a top university. Even though, free education is good for society, once people pay for school, by this way they show their awareness regarding education. Secondly, free further education can increase the rate of unemployment. To clarify this claim, due to a great number of so-called well-educated people which makes the labor market more competitive. For instance, in Vietnam, there is a dramatic decline in job opportunities because every year significant fresh graduates pass out from university who are seeking the job. On the other hand, the university is already adopted free education to some extent. Out of all the grounds, the most profound one is that scholarship gets the motivation to brilliant students. Unless and until, government offer students full or half- fee scholarship, they do not feel motivated and help them to maintain capital sources. By the way of conclusion, although free tuition deposit is beneficial for the masses, it also carries detrimental drawbacks such as less opportunity for qualified students and unemployment.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a vital role in building the carrier of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of civilians holds the opinion that every person has right for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
national authority should implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
tuition for everyone who pursues higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
largely
disagree with the aforesaid notion and my disagreement on the basis of explanations provided
further
.

On the one hand, there are myriad understable reasons why the tuition fee should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
Firstly
, unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
takes the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
while deserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose an alternative path. To illustrates this, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, then overqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will suffer to enroll in a top university.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay for school, by this way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their awareness regarding education.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can increase the rate of unemployment. To clarify this claim, due to a great number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the labor market more competitive.
For instance
, in Vietnam, there is a dramatic decline in job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every year significant fresh graduates pass out from university who are seeking the job.

On the other hand
, the university is already adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. Out of all the grounds, the most profound one is that scholarship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the motivation to brilliant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Unless and until,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
full or half- fee scholarship, they do not feel motivated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maintain capital sources.

By the way of conclusion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
tuition deposit is beneficial for the masses, it
also
carries detrimental drawbacks such as less opportunity for qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and unemployment.

IELTS essay Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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