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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days various nations have cosmopolitan cities with individuals residing from all over the world. Although, most of the humans even if from different religion, caste, culture, language, and country live peacefully at one place or city. However, there are instances where these differences come in way of maintaining harmony. Legal higher authorities can ensure that these people can live harmoniously together by making few rules, which I shall discuss below. Firstly, globalization has reduced the gap between various countries, people have the democracy to cross boarders and settle in the cities they prefer the most. Additionally, individuals living in the same country also prefer to move and settle in cosmopolitan areas as such places provide more job opportunities, low cost of living, more exposure to gain great experience, good number of schools and colleges, facility of public transport and great medical facilities. For instance, in India the highest population resides in metropolitan cities like Mumbai and Delhi because these cities have all the advantages which humans fail to receive in their small hometowns. In such places, individuals live together and there are instances where difference in caste, religion, culture, or language come in way of people living with harmony. Then comes the role of government who should frame certain rules which needs to be followed for example rule that there will be no discrimination in any place in relation to color, caste, religion or language. In addition, awareness should be created amongst everybody that each one should respect each other as people living in same city and nation belong to one place and country and are not distinct in any way. Taxation rules should be kept same for all living in the same city. Facilities and advantages that these places offer should be available for every person living in the city such as using public transport or medical facilities, job opportunities, and educational institutions. To conclude, I believe that each individual should try to maintain harmony and live together as they are part of same city and nation. However, there should be constant support of the government to check if all these people actually live together without getting involved in any kind of fights and harmoniously.
These days various nations have cosmopolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
residing from all over the world. Although, most of the humans even if from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion, caste, culture, language, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
peacefully
at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or city.
However
, there are instances where these differences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in way of maintaining harmony. Legal higher authorities can ensure that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
harmoniously
together by making few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, which I shall discuss below.

Firstly
, globalization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the gap between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the democracy to cross boarders and settle in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
they prefer the most.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and settle in cosmopolitan areas as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
provide more job opportunities, low cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, more exposure to gain great experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of schools and colleges, facility of public transport and great medical facilities.
For instance
, in India the highest population resides in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Mumbai and Delhi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have all the advantages which humans fail to receive in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hometowns.

In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together and there are instances where difference in caste, religion, culture, or language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with harmony. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the role of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
who should frame certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
which needs to
be followed
for example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
that there will be no discrimination in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in relation to color, caste, religion or language.
In addition
, awareness should
be created
amongst everybody that each one should respect each other as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in same city and nation belong to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and are not distinct in any way. Taxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
same for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the same city. Facilities and advantages that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
offer should be available for every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city such as using public transport or medical facilities, job opportunities, and educational institutions.

To conclude
, I believe that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should try to maintain harmony and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together as they are part of same city and nation.
However
, there should be constant support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together without getting involved in any kind of fights and
harmoniously
.

IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.