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Some people think that education purpose is to prepare individuals to be useful for society. Others its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that education purpose is to prepare individuals to be useful for society. Others its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion QYKx
The main purpose of education has always been a debatable topic. From one point of view, we are nothing without each other, therefore we should learn how to ease another person’s burden and be useful in society. From another perspective, it is up to an individual which job to choose, especially in our age of individualism, when our needs have a bigger gravity than anything else, so school and universities should satisfy our individual needs. I nevertheless believe that education should not opt for extremities, and both of this options can converge. We live in the time of globalization, when many problems that we face with demand an immediate action, were it be pollution or social inequality. And these can be tackled only by common efforts, for one person is powerless in the face of society. Many dedicate their lives to solving such issues, and even though their contributions make it up at the grassroots levels, their overall achievement is of a greater value. This is the way of thinking of those who believe that being a useful member of society is our main duty as a human being. And education, in their point of view, should bring up such altruistic pursuits, for it is the only way to make a world a better place. Soviet Union is a great example of education nurturing useful members of society. Our individualistic pursuits, on the other hand, should also be taken into consideration. World is not black and white, that is why it is a wrongdoing to label people who want to stand out in their deeds. Everybody has their own beliefs and world views, and they will not have job satisfaction when working for communal purposes. Thomas Edison, for example, despite all his attainment, was an egotistical person with entrepreneurial views. He gave our world many great things that changed it forever, but he was enabled to do so only when having an opportunity to evolve for himself, not thinking of global problems. That is why education needs to think of children as individuals rather than mere dummies that will serve whatever purpose they are given. In my opinion, we should not see education as a means serving one purpose. Different school subjects have various goals. Only by having variety of options to choose from can child develop in all aspects. And later in their life they can pursue whatever aims they have. And who knows if their egotistical ideas will reshape the world for the better. To sum up, education can not have one supreme purpose. It can both nurture useful members of society and satisfy individual pursuits too. Since it is every person’s choice what direction to pick, no one can take their human rights away from them
The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has always been a debatable topic. From one point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, we are nothing without each other,
therefore
we should learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
burden and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. From another perspective, it is up to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
which job to choose,
especially
in our age of individualism, when our needs have a bigger gravity than anything else,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
school and universities should satisfy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
needs. I
nevertheless
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not opt for extremities, and both of
Did you mean "these"?
this
options can converge.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the time of globalization, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that we face with demand an immediate action,
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
it be pollution or social inequality. And these can
be tackled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by common efforts, for one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is powerless in the face of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
dedicate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to solving such issues, and
even though
their contributions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it up at the grassroots levels, their
overall
achievement is of a greater value. This is the way of thinking of those who believe that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is our main duty as a human being. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, in their point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, should bring up such altruistic pursuits, for it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place. Soviet Union is a great example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
members of society.

Our individualistic pursuits,
on the other hand
, should
also
be taken
into consideration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
is not black and white,
that is
why it is a wrongdoing to label
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to stand out in their deeds. Everybody has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
beliefs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
, and they will not have job satisfaction when working for communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
. Thomas Edison,
for example
, despite all his attainment, was an egotistical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with entrepreneurial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
. He gave our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
it forever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
was enabled
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when having an opportunity to evolve for himself, not thinking of global problems.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of children as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
rather
than mere dummies that will serve whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In my opinion, we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a means serving one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
school subjects have various goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
by having variety of options to choose from can child develop in all aspects. And later in their life they can pursue whatever aims they have. And who knows if their egotistical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will reshape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for the better.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can not have one supreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
. It can both nurture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
pursuits too. Since it is every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
choice what direction to pick, no one can take their human rights away from
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them

IELTS essay Some people think that education purpose is to prepare individuals to be useful for society. Others its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
458 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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