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Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

It is a common belief that the most worthy of ones in our society is to study a lot instead of the ones who developed its skills by experiencing. I think that we should not underestimate the value of someone who learned its skills through practices. Further, communication technique with years of practicing could benefit our society as a whole. I believe that people learned skills through practices have more resilience to face many difficult challenges in contrast to those people who merely study the theories in class. As we live in a world where is full of risks and potential threats in different sectors. Educated people had spent years in a protected environment with very little chances to explore the real world. Which blinds them from seeing the side of cruel and dreadful our rapidly changing society. However, people who trained its skills via experiences are the ones entered into workforce early and that resulting them in realizing what to expect and learn from its failures. In addition, having communication skills with intense practices are definitely beneficial to our society. Because it enables people to learn from one another. Even it is for the educated people who have not ever been working in their lifetimes. As they could use this technique to avoid making many mistakes. Which eventually aids to improve our society economically and culturally. To recapitulate, some believe that learning skills via experiences rather than in education are less value in our society as a person. However, toughness could be developed in ones because of it and, this attribute character arguably has a significant contribution to our society. Moreover, the master of communication skills in ones would enhance our society to move forward.
It is a common belief that the most worthy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is to study a lot
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
developed its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by experiencing. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should not underestimate the value of someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learned its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through practices.
Further
, communication technique with years of practicing could benefit our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through practices have more resilience to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficult challenges
in contrast
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
merely
study the theories in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world where is full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and potential threats in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had spent years in a protected environment with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chances to explore the real world. Which blinds them from seeing the side of cruel and dreadful our
rapidly
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
trained its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
via experiences are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
entered into workforce early and that resulting them in realizing what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
and learn from its failures.

In addition
, having communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
with intense practices are definitely beneficial to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn from one another. Even it is for the educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have not ever been working in their lifetimes.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this technique to avoid making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mistakes. Which
eventually
aids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
economically
and
culturally
.

To recapitulate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
via experiences
rather
than in education are less value in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a person.
However
, toughness could
be developed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it and, this attribute character
arguably
has a significant contribution to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, the master of communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
would enhance our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward.
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IELTS essay Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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