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Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

In our modern world today controlling a habit of smoking is one of the controversial concern in every part of the world. Although a plethora of diseases connected to this inevitable habit, still an enormous number of individual could not halt the urge of smoking. This essay will discuss why we should give attention on this issue and provide some solutions. Generally every person smokers or non-smokers should be aware that the smokes coming from the cigarette contribute a harmful effect on ones body. To elaborate this is for example, a family which is the father is smoker even though he is smoking outside the house away from his wife and children. The fact that he smokes outside but still the smokes are around somewhere in their house and also the smells of the cigarette can attached to his skin and even to his clothes. This smells can also inhaled by his family. A continuous habit like this will eventually damage their health and lead to different kinds of diseases like asthma, pneumonia or ever worst a lung cancer. There are various solutions to this damaging problem. The role of the government as well as each citizens working together can overcome such habit. For example, the government can implement a banning of using cigarette in public places like, market, streets, and parks to name some. In addition to this, if they caught smoking in those restricted areas they will charge a fine. Another thing is that the government can increase a tax to all tobacco and cigarettes. If this happen a person for example earning an average income would find it hard to purchase. Moreover, this will cause a lesser number of cigarette used everyday. With these few ideas that I suggested if implemented by the government and follow by the smokers can have a positive impact on their lives. In conclusion, although the government impost a law and restrictions still it is every persons responsibilities to look after their health as well as their family.
In our modern world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
controlling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is one of the controversial concern in every part of the world. Although a plethora of diseases connected to this inevitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
,
still
Possible agreement error. The noun individual seems to be countable; consider using: “a enormous number of individuals”.
an enormous number of individual
could not halt the urge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This essay will discuss why we should give attention on this issue and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Generally
every person smokers or non-smokers should be aware that the smokes coming from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
contribute a harmful effect on ones body. To elaborate this is
for example
, a family which is the father is smoker
even though
he is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
away from his wife and children. The fact that he smokes outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the smokes are around somewhere in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
also
the smells of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
can
Did you mean “be attached”?
attached
to his skin and even to his clothes.
Did you mean “these”?
This
smells can
also
inhaled by his family. A continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
like this will
eventually
damage their health and lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of diseases like asthma, pneumonia or ever worst a lung cancer.

There are various solutions to this damaging problem. The role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as well
as each
The plural noun “citizens” doesn’t fit after the quantifier “each”. A possessive apostrophe may be missing, or you meant the singular form.
citizens
working together can overcome such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can implement a banning of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
in public places like, market, streets, and parks to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
In addition
to this, if they caught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in those restricted areas they will charge a fine. Another thing is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can increase a tax to all tobacco and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
. If
The verb ‘happen’ is plural. Did you mean: “this happens”? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this happen
a person
for example
earning an average income would find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Moreover
, this will cause a lesser number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
. With these few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that I suggested if implemented by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and follow by the smokers can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
impost a law and restrictions
still
it is every
The plural noun “persons” doesn’t fit after the quantifier “every”. A possessive apostrophe may be missing, or you meant the singular form.
persons
responsibilities to look after their health
as well
as their family.
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IELTS essay Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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