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some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing or motor-ricing should be banned

some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing or motor-ricing should be banned r1qpn
Different people have different ideas, so some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing or motor-ricing should be banned, while others disagree. As for, me I disagree this statement. It will not be an exaggeration if I say, that dangerous sports such as boxing and motor-ricing should not be banned, because the spectator who watches extreme sports are happy and exciting. Moreover, if they use equipment such as helmet and gloves, they will be more safe. On my opinion, I think if practiced safely, extreme sports can be a great way to do physical exercise and relieve stress. If person works eight our in day, he will be tired and need relax, so I think dangerous sports such as skiing, mountain biking are the best way to have a great time. Finally, weigh out my view, every human think, that challenging sports enable for many people release their own life pressure. Overall, I believe every human have a choice. If the person think that he need to extreme sports for adrenaline or entertainment it should not be prohibited.
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Different
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people
have
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different
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ideas
,
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so
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some
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people
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think
that
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dangerous
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sports
such as boxing or motor-ricing should
be banned
, while others disagree. As for, me I disagree this statement. It will not be an exaggeration if I say, that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as boxing and motor-ricing should not
be banned
,
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because
the spectator who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
extreme
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sports
are happy and exciting.
Moreover
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
equipment such as helmet and gloves, they will be more safe. On my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if practiced
safely
, extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can be a great way to do physical exercise and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. If person works eight our in day, he will
be tired
and need relax,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as skiing, mountain biking are the best way to have a great time.
Finally
, weigh out my view, every human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
, that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life pressure.
Overall
, I believe every human have a choice. If the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that he need to extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for adrenaline or entertainment it should not
be prohibited
.
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IELTS essay some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing or motor-ricing should be banned

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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