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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others thinks people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others thinks people should be free to choose. kY6On
Many people believe that a person should choose dangerous sports independently because these sports are done under the vision of various specialists whereas some individuals argue that it should be banned as it can result in the death of a person. In my opinion, the former view is more significant than the latter view. Discussing the first view point, people are free to choose sports which are dangerous. This is because these extreme sports are performed with the guidance of sports specialists. As a result, there are less chances to get injuries during performance. To illustrate, after involvement and with guidance of sport professionals in year 2010, 80% of people got less injured by performing paragliding in Canada. Therefore, guidance of specialists can reduce injuries in the sports. Considering the second view, which is less important, dangerous sports may kill a person who does not have proper knowledge of it. However, I support the fact that governments have ordered to frame some guidelines to various sport centres that must be followed by people who perform these sports. Consequently, performing these activities is becoming more safer than before. For instance, after Canadian Government ordered to Candian sports associations to make rules in 2018, there were a decline in deaths by 90% in paragliding. Therefore, guidelines can reduce risks involved in dangerous sports. To conclude, the explanation in the essay clarify that the second view is more insignificant than the first view.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
believe that a person should choose
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dangerous
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sports
independently
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because
these
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sports
are done
under the vision of various specialists whereas
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some
individuals argue that it should
be banned
as it can result in the death of a person. In my opinion, the former
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view
is more significant than the latter
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view
. Discussing the
first
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view
point,
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people
are free to choose
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sports
which are
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dangerous
. This is
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because
these extreme
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sports
are performed
with the guidance of
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sports
specialists.
As a result
, there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injuries during performance. To illustrate, after involvement and with guidance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
professionals in year 2010, 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less injured by performing paragliding in Canada.
Therefore
, guidance of specialists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
injuries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Considering the second
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view
, which is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
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dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
may kill a person who does not have proper knowledge of it.
However
, I support the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have ordered to frame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guidelines to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
by
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people
who perform these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Consequently
, performing these activities is becoming
Use only "safer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more safer
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, after Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
ordered to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Candian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
associations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in 2018, there were a decline in deaths by 90% in paragliding.
Therefore
, guidelines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
To conclude
, the explanation in the essay clarify that the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is more insignificant than the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others thinks people should be free to choose.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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