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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose. oRVjg
It is considered that the number of sports if it is arduous to do is ceased, whereas there are others who think that whatever we choose is available. In my opinion, I believe that the ranges of sports have their disadvantages and advantage when you work out one of them you chose for your health. On the one hand, there is a wide variety of sports that we select for our capability for our daily lives. Some dangerous sports which we do can be brought the problems without being confirmed for health. Take for example, the rate of fast car racing has been increased than it was many years ago. Every year, in thew world, about 500 hundred people is injured and crashed when they are on the road. Moreover, boxing as a part of sport is unnecessary sport because many people are hit on their head by the competitor on the stage. If a few kinds of sports are included in terrible list, the sports community need to restrict from sports. On the other hand, the choice of sports depends on your interest such as my younger sister really love participating the motorcycle competition even if it is calculated as more threatening sports interest. The difficult sport we are training give us more patience and passion. For example, in Brazil, studied that there were about 1000 motorcyclists who were tolerant for the life changing adversity, they consider that it is not dangerous to train ourselves on this sport. Not only they gained more power but also it will be advantages outweigh drawbacks. Additionally, if that sport were listed on the worse sport, there would be not prosperity since the first sport born. In conclusion, although a great deal of sports is prohibited in some part of countries, I think it depends on our interest which sport you prefer than other sports. On the our planet, more and more people who want to test themselves on the serious sports related to development of society and technology.
It
is considered
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
if it is arduous to do
is ceased
, whereas there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whatever we choose is available. In my opinion, I believe that the ranges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have their disadvantages and advantage when you work out one of them you chose for your health.

On the one hand, there is a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that we select for our capability for our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which we do can
be brought
the problems without
being confirmed
for health. Take
for example
, the rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
car racing has
been increased
than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. Every year, in thew world, about 500 hundred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
injured and crashed when they are on the road.
Moreover
, boxing as a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hit
on their head by the competitor on the stage. If a few kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are included
in terrible list, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
community need to restrict from sports.

On the other hand
, the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
depends on your interest such as my younger sister
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
participating the motorcycle competition even if it
is calculated
as more threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
interest. The difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
we are training give us more patience and passion.
For example
, in Brazil, studied that there were about 1000 motorcyclists who were tolerant for the life changing adversity, they consider that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to train ourselves on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they gained more power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will be advantages outweigh drawbacks.
Additionally
, if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
were listed
on the worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, there would be not prosperity since the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
born.

In conclusion
, although a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is prohibited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of countries, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it depends on our interest which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
you prefer than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. On
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our planet" or "the planet"?
the our planet
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
themselves on the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
related to development of society and technology.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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