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Some people think that space exploration is a waste of not only time but also the budget of the government that is why it should be stopped as soon as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of not only time but also the budget of the government that is why it should be stopped as soon as possible. lD39
Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that the administration is squandering the exchequer to exploration in other spheres so that it would be relinquished. I partially disagree that because this research would lead to vital discoveries, the solution to current issues but we will not overlook, it pulls back some areas. Firstly, a myriad of wealth is allocated to space exploration because it would lead us to significant and scientific discoveries. In other words, it is a valuable key for our bright upcoming life to succeed and could be an assurance of not stumbling. This means that research allows us to know new information about galaxy, universal, alien life forms so that it is one of the few human endeavours that cross borders. For instance, when we began to launch satellites into space, it allowed us to find new raw material deposits on our planet that we could access to make life easier here. Thus, this affords a reduction in human needs, the elimination of deficiencies, and development. Secondly, discover the mysteries of the universe would be caused to solve current issues. To be more precise, the quest for a new homeland solves issues such as air pollution, drought, depletion of natural resources, etc. This is mainly because, an alternative way to overcome and eliminate the problem which we encounter every day. For example, this consequence would be a possibility for mankind's conflict to overpopulate. Therefore, extraterrestrial life looks as if essential. However, pour money into space research pulls back some fields like medicine. Meaning that basic health care is also one of the most important issues. Since it is shown that increasing the budget for this field develops medicine next level. To illustrate, numerous countries still lack basic medical infrastructure. Thereby, governments should prioritize medical research making health care accessible. To conclude, research would lead to vital discoveries, solution current issues as well as pulls back some areas.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that the administration is squandering the exchequer to exploration in other spheres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it would
be relinquished
. I
partially
disagree that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
would lead to vital discoveries, the solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we will not overlook, it pulls back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.

Firstly
, a myriad of wealth
is allocated
to space exploration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would lead us to significant and scientific discoveries.
In other words
, it is a valuable key for our bright upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to succeed and could be an assurance of not stumbling. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to know new information about galaxy, universal, alien
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
forms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is one of the few human
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
that cross borders.
For instance
, when we began to launch satellites into space, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to find new raw material deposits on our planet that we could access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier here.
Thus
, this affords a reduction in human needs, the elimination of deficiencies, and development.

Secondly
, discover the mysteries of the universe would
be caused
to solve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. To be more precise, the quest for a new homeland solves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as air pollution, drought, depletion of natural resources, etc. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, an alternative way to overcome and eliminate the problem which we encounter every day.
For example
, this consequence would be a possibility for mankind's conflict to overpopulate.
Therefore
, extraterrestrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
looks as if essential.

However
, pour money into space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
pulls back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields like medicine. Meaning that basic health care is
also
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Since it
is shown
that increasing the budget for this field develops medicine
next
level. To illustrate, numerous countries
still
lack basic medical infrastructure. Thereby,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should prioritize medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
making health care accessible.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
would lead to vital discoveries, solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as well
as pulls back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.
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IELTS essay Some people think that space exploration is a waste of not only time but also the budget of the government that is why it should be stopped as soon as possible.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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