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prevention is better than cure. researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would better to invest in preventive measures. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Owing to the problems with the costs of health care, it is argued that the governments should focus on prevention more than cure. From my perspective it may seem that not only the process of healing costs too much but also, it waste a lot of time. Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding the health care’s budget is best solved by taking a long term approach to produce more effectively medicine to prevent costly diseases. In fact, never have we witnessed such an economic pressure on society for health care expenses in our history and there is an increased propensity for people to get insurance for handling these expenses. For instance, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, the overwhelming predominance of people tend to ignore their illness when their insurance does not covet the costs. Another point to consider is that illness can waste a lot of time in a patient’s life thus, affects his career and lifestyle. In average, every individual may spend more than a week in hospital in his life time and some experts claim that there is a direct correlation between spending time in hospital and mental disease such as depression therefore, if the governments allocated more money for prevention medicine, it would positively impact on both mental and physical health of the society. In conclusion, it is probably true to say that some opponents claim that focusing just on prevention in health care brings many issues with it on the contrary, I think this is a best way to enhance the society’s health problems.
Owing to the problems with the costs of
health
care
, it
is argued
that the
governments
should focus on prevention more than cure. From my perspective it may seem that not
only
the process of healing costs too much
but
also
, it
waste
a lot of
time.

Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding the
health
care’s
budget is best solved by taking a long term approach to produce more
effectively
medicine to
prevent
costly diseases. In fact, never have we witnessed such an economic pressure on society for
health
care
expenses in our history and there is an increased propensity for
people
to
get
insurance for handling these expenses.
For instance
, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, the overwhelming predominance of
people
tend to
ignore
their illness when their insurance does not covet the costs.

Another point to consider is that illness can waste
a lot of
time in a patient’s life
thus
, affects his career and lifestyle. In average, every individual may spend more than a week in hospital in his
life time
and
some
experts claim that there is a direct correlation between spending time in hospital and mental disease such as depression
therefore
, if the
governments
allocated more money for prevention medicine, it would
positively
impact on both mental and physical
health
of the society.

In conclusion
, it is
probably
true to say that
some
opponents claim that focusing
just
on prevention in
health
care
brings
many
issues with it
on the contrary
, I
think
this is
a
best way to enhance the society’s
health
problems.
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IELTS essay prevention is better than cure. researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would better to invest in preventive measures. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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