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prevention is better than cure. researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would better to invest in preventive measures. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Owing to the problems with the costs of health care, it is argued that the governments should focus on prevention more than cure. From my perspective it may seem that not only the process of healing costs too much but also, it waste a lot of time. Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding the health care’s budget is best solved by taking a long term approach to produce more effectively medicine to prevent costly diseases. In fact, never have we witnessed such an economic pressure on society for health care expenses in our history and there is an increased propensity for people to get insurance for handling these expenses. For instance, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, the overwhelming predominance of people tend to ignore their illness when their insurance does not covet the costs. Another point to consider is that illness can waste a lot of time in a patient’s life thus, affects his career and lifestyle. In average, every individual may spend more than a week in hospital in his life time and some experts claim that there is a direct correlation between spending time in hospital and mental disease such as depression therefore, if the governments allocated more money for prevention medicine, it would positively impact on both mental and physical health of the society. In conclusion, it is probably true to say that some opponents claim that focusing just on prevention in health care brings many issues with it on the contrary, I think this is a best way to enhance the society’s health problems.
Owing to the problems with the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, it
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should focus on prevention more than cure. From my perspective it may seem that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the process of healing costs too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “wastes”.
waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.

Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care’s
budget is best solved by taking a long term approach to produce more
effectively
medicine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
costly diseases. In fact, never have we witnessed such an economic pressure on society for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
expenses in our history and there is an increased propensity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
insurance for handling these expenses.
For instance
, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, the overwhelming predominance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their illness when their insurance does not covet the costs.

Another point to consider is that illness can waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in a patient’s life
thus
, affects his career and lifestyle. In average, every individual may spend more than a week in hospital in his
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts claim that there is a direct correlation between spending time in hospital and mental disease such as depression
therefore
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
allocated more money for prevention medicine, it would
positively
impact on both mental and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the society.

In conclusion
, it is
probably
true to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opponents claim that focusing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on prevention in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues with it
on the contrary
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
Use “the” with the superlative.
a
best way to enhance the society’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
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IELTS essay prevention is better than cure. researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would better to invest in preventive measures. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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