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The illustrations show how chocolate is produced

Pictures illustrate the process of making chocolate. Overall, it is clear that there are ten different steps in chocolate production, from growing the cacao tree in South America, Africa and Indonesia to producing liquid chocolate. First of all, when the pods are ripe and red, they are harvested, and then white cacao beans are removed from the outer shells. In the next two steps, the beans are fermented and spread in the sun for drying. After that, the dry beans are put in large packages to send them to the factory by a lorry or train. Once the bags with beans have been taken to the factory, they are roasted at 350 C in a hot pot, and then the beans are crushed as well as the outer shells are removed at the same time. In the final step, liquid chocolate is produced by pressing the inner part of the beans.
Pictures illustrate the process of making chocolate.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are ten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps in chocolate production, from growing the cacao tree in South America, Africa and Indonesia to producing liquid chocolate.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, when the pods are ripe and red, they
are harvested
, and then white cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are removed
from the outer shells. In the
next
two steps, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are fermented
and spread in the sun for drying. After that, the dry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are put
in large packages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to the factory by a
‘lorry’ is a common British expression. Consider using expressions more common to American English.
lorry
or train.

Once the bags with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
have
been taken
to the factory, they
are roasted
at 350 C in a hot pot, and then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are crushed
as well
as the outer shells
are removed
at the same time. In the final step, liquid chocolate
is produced
by pressing the inner part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
.
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IELTS essay The illustrations show how chocolate is produced

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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