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Some people think that children should reward on the basis of academics while others think that reward on the basis of improve ment discuss both the view and give your opinion

Some people think that children should reward on the basis of academics while others think that reward on the basis of improve ment discuss both the view and give your opinion abBP
Nowadays, due to cut throat competition in education institutions as well as among the children to perform well in an acedemics. Thus, to lure the students institutes provide various facilities to the children which include financial reward as well as gifts. In such a scenario, whom to give reward? This question has bios view some people opine that reward should be given to the children who is scholar whereas, others consider it should be given to the one who shows progress in their academics. This essay shall elaborate both the views and draws logical conclusion along with example in ensuing paragraphs. To commence with, the first and foremost perhaps reason behind those who consider that reward should be given to the students who perform well in academic and pass the examination with flying colors argue that it will help to create a competitive atmosphere so that they can enhance their academic knowledge and skill-sets vary well. Moreover, if this kind of reward system in the schools than students determine, devoted, and dedicated more towards the study which will help in their holistic development as well as grow the reputation of school also. Second of all, if some school provide financial aid in terms of scholarship or free education to the top rankers reduce the burdan of parents economical crisis so that those who have talent and knowledge do not need to worry about financial condition of their parents. For instance, Navoday scholarship provide a chance to get free education who perform well in their entrance exam. Last but not least, school drop-out ratio will be lowest and education system upgraded as every one get the equal opportunity by this I mean that if the children who is belong to poor family and not able to study further due to financial crisis get free education as a reward in lieu of their talent. Paradoxically, on the other hand, those who consider that those who show progress in performance should be rewarded rather than the scholars. The reasons behind their opinion seems to be that if this kind of reward system took place in an education system than it will not only growth children academically but also, help in development as all-rounder as their focus is not just academic oriented. For example, one recent survey held by university of british columbia reveals that if children who took part in co curriculum activities appreciate by providing financial aid and gifts than it shows that the more number of children encouraged to participate in Olympic games and won the medals and perform academically well too which is a positive sign. In addition, this will help them in future aspect as well. By this they mean that children can become a self employed professional such as, coach in chess, yoga teacher, music tutor, language tutor, painter, dancer. I concede that both the paragraphs have significant importance and logic; however, in my opinion reward should be given to both but recognition should be different those who perform well in academic should get a chance to study free and those who perform well or show improvement in any field should be recognized by providing the necessary equipments by which they can perform well in future events. Because, single step towards recognition leads to more positive impact on the development of healthy society as well nation. In conclusion, by analyzing aforementioned points it is aptly clear that appreciation is must essential whether it is for performing well in academics or show improvement in any field.
Nowadays, due to
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
acedemics
.
Thus
, to lure the students institutes provide various facilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as gifts. In such a scenario, whom to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
? This question has bios view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
is
scholar whereas, others consider it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
progress in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. This essay shall elaborate both the views and draws logical conclusion along with example in ensuing paragraphs.

To commence with, the
first
and foremost perhaps reason behind those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and pass the examination with flying colors argue that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to create a competitive atmosphere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-sets vary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Moreover
, if this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
than students determine, devoted, and dedicated more towards the study which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in their holistic development as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as grow the reputation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
. Second of all, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "schools"?
school
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid in terms of scholarship or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the top
Possible spelling mistake found.
rankers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
burdan
of parents
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have talent and knowledge do not need to worry about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
condition of their parents.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navoday
scholarship provide a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in their entrance exam. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
drop-out ratio will be lowest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
upgraded as every one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the equal opportunity by this I mean that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
is
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to poor family and not able to study
further
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
crisis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
in lieu of their talent.

Paradoxically
,
on the other hand
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consider that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
progress in performance should
be rewarded
rather
than the scholars. The reasons behind their opinion seems to be that if this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
took place in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
than it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
academically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in development as all-rounder as their focus is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
oriented.
For example
, one recent survey held by university of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
british columbia
reveals that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in co curriculum activities appreciate by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid and gifts than it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that the more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
encouraged to participate in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
and won the medals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
academically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
too which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
.
In addition
, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in future aspect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. By this they mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can become a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
professional such as, coach in chess, yoga teacher, music tutor, language tutor, painter, dancer.

I concede that both the paragraphs have significant importance and logic;
however
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recognition should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
improvement in any field should
be recognized
by providing the necessary equipments by which they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, single step towards recognition leads to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the development of healthy society as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
nation.

In conclusion
, by analyzing aforementioned points it is
aptly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that appreciation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
essential whether it is for performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
improvement in any field.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should reward on the basis of academics while others think that reward on the basis of improve ment discuss both the view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
587 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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