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Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion qNL5
Most of the time children are expected to follow rules implemented by grown ups. while some consider this strategy will lead on raising dissiplined kids, other think that too much controlling could ruin their personnality later on. This essay will discuss why i think that setting rules is crucial in the education process of toddlers and teenagers in specific. However we should not opress their identity because this could lead to several problems later on. Firstly when a kid is born parents try to do their best to set a bunch of rules which they expect him to follow once he is capable of applying them. I strongly agree that some basic rules are crucialy important to be taught to children such as not talking to strangers, not hurting one another, respecting family members and the list goes on. Furthermore, at school the teacher should have control over the children but to a certain limit. She should be able to teach the students and the classroom has to be a safe space for students to express their opinion at the same time. On the opposite side, laying too much rules at home and in the classroom could opress the kids personality because they are not being able to explore their likes and dislikes. For example not allowing children to eat sugar at home will only lead to them wanting it even more. Whereas, permitting sweets with moderation and explaining their negative affect on health would be the best solution. Finally, as far as I'm concern, in order to have a kid with good personality, the try and error technique is undeniably important, they should express their own opinion and learn from their own experience. This being said we should not omit the important of laying ground basic rules to be followed at home and in the class room. So in the end everything should be in moderation.
Most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
implemented by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
grown ups
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider this strategy will lead on raising
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissiplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that too much controlling could ruin their
Possible spelling mistake found.
personnality
later on. This essay will discuss why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
is crucial in the education process of toddlers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in specific.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we should not
Possible spelling mistake found.
opress
their identity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this could lead to several problems later on.
Firstly
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is born
parents try to do their best to set a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
him to follow once he is capable of applying them. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
crucialy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as not talking to strangers, not hurting one another, respecting family members and the list goes on.
Furthermore
, at school the teacher should have control over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to a certain limit. She should be able to teach the students and the classroom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a safe space for students to express their opinion at the same time. On the opposite side, laying too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
at home and in the classroom could
Possible spelling mistake found.
opress
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "kids'" or "kid's"?
kids
personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not being able to explore their likes and dislikes.
For example
not allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to eat sugar at home will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to them wanting it even more. Whereas, permitting sweets with moderation and explaining their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on health would be the best solution.
Finally
, as far as I'm concern, in order to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality, the
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
error technique is
undeniably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, they should express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. This
being said
we should not omit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of laying ground basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to
be followed
at home and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
room.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
everything should be in moderation.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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