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Some people think that children should be sent to care center . Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be sent to care center. ne2VE
There is no denying the fact that young ons are considered as the nation builder in every country. However, it has become a highly controversial issue wheather, children should be sent to the kindergarten or needs to be take care by their elder family members. Both aspects associated in with this will be critique along with my opinion. Commencing with care center play versatile role at early stages of children life, they may learn how to Express their feelings or opinions with their friends. In addition, teenagers can have a wide range of choices at day care to select the favourite sport or musical instruments, which may be beneficial for their career. Moreover, daycare have many children from different backgrounds this helps children make friends and may learn increase their language abilities. On the other hand, grey haried people have own importance in the life of children. They play important role in nourishment of grand children. For example, after the retirement they stay full time with their little ones and gives moral and ethical values to them. In addition, children feel more safe with grand parents because they know that they are our elder ones. In opinion, grand parents can be best teacher in the world but now daycare paly important role in the early stages os children life.
There is no denying the fact that young
Possible spelling mistake found.
ons
are considered
as the nation builder in every country.
However
, it has become a
highly
controversial issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheather
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the kindergarten or needs to be take care by their elder family members. Both aspects associated in with this will be
Consider using a past participle here: "critiqued".
critique
along with my opinion.

Commencing with care center play versatile role at early stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life, they may learn how to Express their feelings or opinions with their friends.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can have a wide range of choices at day care to select the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sport or musical instruments, which may be beneficial for their career.
Moreover
, daycare have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and may learn increase their language abilities.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
Possible spelling mistake found.
haried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in nourishment of grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, after the retirement they stay full time with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones and gives moral and ethical values to them.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel more safe with grand parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that they are our elder ones.

In opinion, grand parents can
A determiner is probably missing here: "be the best".
be best
teacher in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
daycare
Possible spelling mistake found.
paly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the early stages
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should be sent to care center.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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