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Opinions are divided on whether the fact that the intelligence of humankind will be surpassed by that of computers is detrimental or beneficial. Although both viewpoints are justifiable, I lean towards the latter.

Opinions are divided on whether the fact that the intelligence of humankind will be surpassed by that of computers is detrimental or beneficial. Although both viewpoints are justifiable, I lean towards the latter. e8kRA
Opinions are divided on whether the fact that the intelligence of humankind will be surpassed by that of computers is detrimental or beneficial. Although both viewpoints are justifiable, I lean towards the latter. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people subscribe to the view that the assistance of super-advanced computers is positive. The chief of this is that, thanks to the help of these highly intelligent machines, job productivity could be significantly increased, and job burdens reduced for a lot of people. Al caregivers, for example, allow parents to pursue their defined job without the need to sacrifice their careers for childcare and chores. Similarly, elderly people are more likely to have a higher living standard with relatively lower costs if robots are intelligent enough to cater to their needs. Furthermore, it is even projected that robots' productivity will be so high that there will be enough capital to provide free education and health care and that poverty and starvation will be eradicated. On the other hand, I am convinced that the aforementioned benefits could pale in comparison to their considerable drawbacks. First and foremost, with the increasing development of computers, colossal people are more likely to be at risk of losing jobs. A typical example of this is that a large number of human divers are inclined to be replaced by robots. Another demerit related to this trend is that it poses a serious threat to the intellectual development of human beings. Given that a computer with the ability to think critically and logically could help humans make objectively sound decisions, this would create over-dependence, which would in turn have a stultifying effect on human intelligence. In conclusion, while there is no doubt that the pros of highly-intelligent computers, I believe that these are outstripped by their cons.
Opinions
are divided
on whether the fact that the intelligence of humankind will
be surpassed
by that of computers is detrimental or beneficial. Although both viewpoints are justifiable, I lean towards the latter.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
subscribe to the view that the assistance of super-advanced computers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. The chief of this is that, thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
highly
intelligent machines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
productivity could be
significantly
increased, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
burdens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Al caregivers
,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
parents to pursue their defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without the need to sacrifice their careers for childcare and chores.
Similarly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to have a higher living standard with
relatively
lower costs if robots are intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cater to their needs.
Furthermore
, it is even projected that robots' productivity will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high that there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capital to provide free education and health care and that poverty and starvation will
be eradicated
.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that the aforementioned benefits could pale
in comparison
to their considerable drawbacks.
First
and foremost, with the increasing development of computers, colossal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. A typical example of this is that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
divers
are inclined
to
be replaced
by robots. Another demerit related to this trend is that it poses a serious threat to the intellectual development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that a computer with the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
critically
and
logically
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
objectively
sound decisions, this would create over-dependence, which would in turn have a stultifying effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intelligence.

In conclusion
, while there is no doubt that the pros of
highly
-intelligent computers, I believe that these
are outstripped
by their cons.
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IELTS essay Opinions are divided on whether the fact that the intelligence of humankind will be surpassed by that of computers is detrimental or beneficial. Although both viewpoints are justifiable, I lean towards the latter.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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