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Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten.

Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. d3MNp
One section of society holds to the opinion that students should study at their residence. On the other hand, the other believes that it would be beneficial for them to attend primary school. In my opinion children should go and study at education institutes because it would improve their time management and communication skills. This essay will shed light on both these aspects. Firstly, managing time is very important skill in the 21st century. In a school the evaluation of children is on what they have learned during a term of their studies is conducted from time to time. Students would always have pressure of exams and study on time to get good scores. Moreover, at the same time apart from normal studies, school going children would have some compulsory extra- curricular activities such as dance, music, sports and many more to participate in. When students are exposed to such multitasking environment, this would make them realize the importance of time and they utilize time in a more efficient manner. A recent study conducted by American Education Department found out that adolescents who study at school have a better time management skill than those children who are home schooled. Secondly, effective communication is also as important as time management skill. As is primary school children there are given number of group projects. In these group work they must interact with each other and achieve the given task, the main reason for these are activities been conducted are, is so that students can have a good command over their speaking skills. For instance, it was found out that school going boys and girls are more social in nature than those who study with their parents at home as they able to communicate better. Based on the above explanation, it is evident that primary education is better, rather teaching students at home because students would have better time management skill as well as have a good command over their communication skill development. These soft skills are very much important when they go into corporate world.
One section of society holds to the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at their residence.
On the other hand
, the other believes that it would be beneficial for them to attend primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at education institutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This essay will shed light on both these aspects.

Firstly
, managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in the 21st century. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
the evaluation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is on what they have learned during a term of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is conducted
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
would always have pressure of exams and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scores.
Moreover
, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
apart from normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compulsory extra- curricular activities such as dance, music, sports and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more to participate in. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are exposed
to such multitasking environment, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize the importance of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a more efficient manner. A recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by American Education Department found out that adolescents who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooled
.

Secondly
, effective communication is
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
is primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
number of group projects. In these group work they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
interact with each other and achieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
task, the main reason for these are activities
been conducted
are, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
command over their speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, it
was found
out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going boys and girls are more social in nature than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with their parents at home as
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to communicate better.

Based on the above explanation, it is evident that primary education is better,
rather
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
as well
as have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
command over their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development. These soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when they go into corporate world.

IELTS essay Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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