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Some people think that cell phones are dangerous

Some people think that cell phones are dangerous MMAEL
Nowadays, lots of people are using cell phones for many different reasons. Cell phones can be used for texting family or friends, watching movies, for doing homework, listening music and so on. With the stated reasons cell phones are used very frequently which can affect both mental and physical health in different ways. So how does it affect us overall? Is it really as harmful and dangerous as people think? First of all, cell phones emit harmful radiation which causes brain cancer and other dangerous illnesses in human’s body. Its important that we take some time apart from our phones when we are sleeping, for example: many people listen radio or music while sleeping. This damages our nervous system and makes us more anxious. We also become more dependent and can’t sleep without cell phones. It’s like a drug but in different form. Secondly, it can cause physical inactivity. Furthermore, physical inactivity leads to fatness and then it can develop as a diabetes. Phone cells are dangerous because it makes you fall for the wrong reality, it makes you loose motivation and we become lazier. Depression is another mental disease that can be caused by cell phones. In conclusion, i think that long term usage of cell phones are extremely dangerous for human’s heath and we should find a balance to keep an eye on between it’s advantages and disadvantages
Nowadays, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for texting family or friends, watching movies, for doing homework, listening music and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. With the stated reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
which can affect both mental and physical health in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
how does it affect us
overall
? Is it
really
as harmful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
?
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
emit harmful radiation which causes brain cancer and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
illnesses in human’s body. Its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time apart from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
when we are sleeping,
for example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
listen radio or music while sleeping. This damages our nervous system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more anxious. We
also
become more dependent and can’t sleep without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. It’s like a drug
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
form.
Secondly
, it can cause physical inactivity.
Furthermore
, physical inactivity leads to fatness and then it can develop as a diabetes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you fall for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
reality, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you loose
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
motivation and
we become lazier. Depression is another mental disease that can
be caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that long term usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
for human’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
heath and
we should find a balance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on between
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
advantages and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
disadvantages
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IELTS essay Some people think that cell phones are dangerous

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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