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Some people think that museums’ main function is to educate people, the others suggest that they can also serve for entertainment purposes. What is your opinion?

Some people think that museums’ main function is to educate people, the others suggest that they can also serve for entertainment purposes. What is your opinion? pRxEm
People have different thoughts about the role and function of museum. Some people give the idea that museum is the another way to enhance your knowledge but the other say that it the place of entertainment. In my opinion museum can and should be both educational and entertaining. On the one hand, some people argued that the main role of museum is to entertain. Museums are the Tourist attraction and their main aim to exhibit and collection of the interesting objects that the people want to see. The visitors become bored if they read or listen to much of the educational content so the museum put often more of emphasis on entertainment rather than learning. This type of museum is designed many of interactive activities or even games as the part of its exhibition. On the other hand, many people argued that museum should be focus on education. The main aim of museum is that to give something new to visitors that they did not know about previously. Usually this mean that the history behind the museum's exhibits needs to be explained and this can be explained in various ways. Some museum have professional guiders to talk to their visitors while some museum offer headsets to visitors that they can listen to detailed commentary about the exhibition. In this way museum can play an important role in teaching peoples about history, culture, science and other aspects of life. In conclusion, It seems to me that a good museum should be able to an interesting, enjoyable and educational experiences that people can have fun and learn something at the same time.
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People
have
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different
thoughts about the role and function of
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museum
.
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Some
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people
give the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
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museum
is the another way to enhance your knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the other say that it the place of entertainment. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can and should be both educational and entertaining.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that the main role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is to entertain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are the Tourist attraction and their main aim to exhibit and collection of the interesting objects that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. The
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visitors
become bored if they read or listen
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to
much of the educational content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
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museum
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more of emphasis on entertainment
rather
than learning. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is designed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of interactive activities or even games as the part of its exhibition.

On the other hand
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should be focus on education. The main aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is that to give something new to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
that they did not know about previously.
Usually
this mean that the history behind the museum's exhibits needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
and this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in various ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
professional guiders to talk to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "museums"?
museum
offer headsets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
that they can listen to detailed commentary about the exhibition. In this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
about history, culture, science and other aspects of life.

In conclusion
, It seems to me that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should be able to an interesting, enjoyable and educational experiences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have fun and learn something at the same time.
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IELTS essay Some people think that museums’ main function is to educate people, the others suggest that they can also serve for entertainment purposes. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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