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Some people think that being healthy and having a balanced diet should be taught to children by their parents. Others think the best place to learn this should be taught to children at school.

Some people think that being healthy and having a balanced diet should be taught to children by their parents. Others think the best place to learn this should be taught to children at school. bOBLl
Some people think that being healthy and having a balanced diet should be taught to children by their parents. Others think the best place to learn this should be taught to children at school. In this essay, I will discuss both ideas and I will present my personal opinion. To start with, there are a lot of reasons why people think parents should teach their children how to be fit and have healthy food. Firstly, parents have more time to take care of their children. Secondly, the parents know about the children's personalities. For example, they will know what their kids like and they can find a way to teach them. Thirdly, children trust their parents more, so children will do what they say. On the other hand, this does not mean that parents are the only people who can teach well about a balanced diet. Teachers can make them understand the importance of food and fruits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being healthy and having a balanced diet should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the best place to learn this should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at school. In this essay, I will discuss both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and I will present my personal opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to
be fit
and have healthy food.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more time to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know about the children's personalities.
For example
, they will know what their kids
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
like and
they can find a way to teach them.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will do what they say.

On the other hand
, this does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can teach well about a balanced diet. Teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the importance of food and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fruits
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IELTS essay Some people think that being healthy and having a balanced diet should be taught to children by their parents. Others think the best place to learn this should be taught to children at school.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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