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In todays world, it's believed that education is the only parameter to judge one's personality. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In todays world, it's believed that education is the only parameter to judge one's personality. V0boK
Education is a key element in the development of one's personality. Education plays an important role in our personality so, I am agreed that to see someone personality we can take education as a primary factor. Well, education provides us some rules to live a better life as a good person. For me the first impact of education on someone's life is a good behaviour. So if we see a person who is well educated, he must have good manners, he must know how to speak politely with good moral values, he knows how to behave with others in their good and bad times with some good gestures. He knows how to deal with others' emotions and how to respect elders and youngers. Secondly, education makes one's life disciplined, So if a person is educated he must have a well balanced and disciplined life. He must have a purpose to live his life according to a plan to reach that goal. An army person is a real life example of well-disciplined life. Armed person spend their whole life based on rules and plans and serve their countries with a disciplined way. As a conclusion, I'm totally agreed which I mentioned in the above paragraphs that education is a key element and primary factor to judge one's personality.
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Education
is a key element in the development of one's
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personality
.
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Education
plays an
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important
role in our
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personality
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so
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agreed
that to
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see
someone
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personality
we can take
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education
as a primary factor. Well,
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education
provides us
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some
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rules
to
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live
a better
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life
as a
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good
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person
. For me the
first
impact of
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education
on someone's
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life
is a
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good
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behaviour
.
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if we
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see
a
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person
who is
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well educated
, he
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must
have
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good
manners, he
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must
know how to speak
politely
with
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good
moral values, he knows how to behave with others in their
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good
and
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bad
times with
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some
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good
gestures. He knows how to deal with others' emotions and how to respect elders and
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youngers
.
Secondly
,
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education
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makes
one's
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life
disciplined,
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So
if a
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person
is educated
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a
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well balanced
and disciplined
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life
. He
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must
have a purpose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
his
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life
according to a plan to reach that goal. An army
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person
is a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
example of well-disciplined
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life
. Armed
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person
spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
based on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and plans and serve their countries with a disciplined way. As a conclusion, I'm
totally
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agreed
which I mentioned in the above paragraphs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a key element and primary factor to judge one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
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IELTS essay In todays world, it's believed that education is the only parameter to judge one's personality.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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