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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ART LIKE MUSIC AND PAINTING INCREASE THE QUALITY OF THE PEOPLE'S LIFE. SHOULD GOVERNMENT SPEND MORE MONEY ON ART? GIVE YOUR VIEWS.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ART LIKE MUSIC AND PAINTING INCREASE THE QUALITY OF THE PEOPLE'S LIFE. SHOULD GOVERNMENT SPEND MORE MONEY ON ART? GIVE YOUR VIEWS. k5Ly8
Arts reflect the heritage of country and depict the creativity of individual. one school of thought deem that artistic thing such as music as well as painting aloft the standard of masses' life. I bolster with the given statement that the authority should invest funds in art stream. My views has been justified in the ensuing paragraphs. The first and foremost reason to support my ideology is that if the ministry lavish astronomical grants for art, it would augment the tourism directly. To elaborate, there are multiple place which specifically known for the particular art type. To cite an example, The Kutch Raan Utsav which is organized by Gujrat tourism every year in which professional musician deliver the folk music that spread the culture of the nation and attract the tourists. Admittedly, music and paintings are the mirror of any nation, by through that art people acquire the knowledge about their culture, religion and customs too. To be specific, the great Mahabharat poem the people of India get to know about their culture which stands as an epitome. Moreover, if government expand on art as nation interest, people can explore their hidden talent and therefore thousands of citizens who would base their career on arts. Some time its work as stress buster for general public where they enjoy the moral value of art. Therefore if authority invest funds in art, it would indirectly heedful to common folks. However, some group of people argued that government should prioritize other national problems. by this they mean, few sectors such as medical, transportation, defense and education, in which if administration plough money into these sectors, that would be fruitful for the country in future. To quote an example, in current COVID-19 pandemic the can diverts the funds to build multi facilities hospital. In the close scrutiny, it can be stated that albeit the authority will gain more benefits in other sectors such as medical, investment in art have the more privilege in people's life such as profession, wealth and tourism.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
reflect the heritage of country and depict the creativity of individual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
deem that artistic thing such as music
as well
as painting aloft the standard of masses' life. I bolster with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that the authority should invest funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
stream. My views
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
been justified
in the ensuing paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost reason to support my ideology is that if the ministry lavish astronomical grants for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, it would augment the tourism
directly
. To elaborate, there are multiple place which
specifically
known for the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
type. To cite an example, The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kutch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Utsav
which
is organized
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gujrat
tourism every year in which professional musician deliver the folk music that spread the culture of the nation and attract the tourists.
Admittedly
, music and paintings are the mirror of any nation, by through that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
acquire the knowledge about their culture, religion and customs too. To be specific, the great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahabharat
poem the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about their culture which stands as an epitome.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expand on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as nation interest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can explore their hidden talent and
therefore
thousands of citizens who would base their career on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time its work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster for
Consider using "public".
general public
where they enjoy the moral value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
if authority invest funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, it would
indirectly
heedful to common folks.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should prioritize other national problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
this they mean, few sectors such as medical, transportation, defense and education, in which
Did you mean "is"?
if
administration
Possible spelling mistake. 'plough' is British English.
plough
money into these sectors, that would be fruitful for the country
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. To quote an example, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
COVID-19 pandemic the can diverts the funds to build multi
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "facilities'" or "facility's"?
facilities
hospital. In the
Consider using "scrutiny".
close scrutiny
, it can
be stated
that albeit the authority will gain more benefits in other sectors such as medical, investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
have the more privilege in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life such as profession, wealth and tourism.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ART LIKE MUSIC AND PAINTING INCREASE THE QUALITY OF THE PEOPLE'S LIFE. SHOULD GOVERNMENT SPEND MORE MONEY ON ART? GIVE YOUR VIEWS.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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