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I visited to the tashkent zoo

I visited to the tashkent zoo nVxp7
Our big zoo is located the north of Tashkent city. It is extremely beautiful, wonderful, atrractive and landscape place for pupils. I visited with my family When I was at the university. I saw a lot of animals. There were a lot of and different types of animals in the zoo. I saw there were 3 types of animals. First of all, there were beautiful birds. They were swallow, ostrich, humminbirds and other birds. They were exquisite birds. Many pupils gave foods them. For instance, corn, bread and other things. I loved that bird was humminbird. They were different colours. Secondly, I saw peril animals. I consider that numerous children did not like dangerous animals. Especially we saw lion, bear and other animals. Although I hate, in some cases I like them. Thirdly, numarous children visited to watch different types of monkey. For instance, there were Gorzilla and their babies also huge monkeys in the zoo. Children touched Gorilla's baby and too me then they played with them. So we feed the monkey's babies. Even I was friendly with them. In my sum up to Tashkent zoo was best place to relax and enjoyable.
Our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
zoo
is located
the north of Tashkent city. It is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, wonderful,
Possible spelling mistake found.
atrractive
and landscape place for pupils. I visited with my family When I was at the university. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the zoo. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
there were 3 types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
. They were
Consider using a past participle here: "swallowed".
swallow
, ostrich,
Possible spelling mistake found.
humminbirds
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
. They were exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
pupils gave foods them.
For instance
, corn, bread and other things. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
humminbird
. They were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
.
Secondly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
peril
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. I consider that numerous children did not like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Especially
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
lion, bear and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Although I hate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases I like them.
Thirdly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
numarous
children visited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of monkey.
For instance
, there were
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gorzilla
and their babies
also
huge monkeys in the zoo. Children touched Gorilla's baby and too me then they played with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we feed the monkey's babies. Even I was friendly with them. In my sum up to Tashkent zoo
A determiner is probably missing here: "was the best".
was best
place to relax and enjoyable.

IELTS essay I visited to the tashkent zoo

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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