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some people say that the only reason of learning a language is for travel or for work. others says their are more reasons of learning a language. dicuss both views

some people say that the only reason of learning a language is for travel or for work. others says their are more reasons of learning a language. dicuss both views q51JP
Language plays a vast role in the country because it represent the nation at the worldwide level. Few people say that the only cause of learning a different language is travel or for a job in a foreign country. Some group of masses say that their are numerous reasons of studying a separate language. I will shed a light on both views in the coming paragraphs. First and foremost, The only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or for the work in a foreign country. Firstly, when a person is travelling they have to do hotel reservation, and ask the locals about famous and delicious food which is a authentic cuisine. Secondly, most of the people go abroad for study because young blood want less pressure while, educating. Moreover, children or young ones want to becomes independent to handle their expense at their own. Thirdly, the last reason, masses move to abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
plays a vast role in the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "represents"?
represent
the nation at the worldwide level. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause of learning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is travel or for a job in a foreign country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of masses
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "saith", "says"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'say' is not always incorrect.)
say
that
Did you mean "there"?
their
are numerous reasons of studying a separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. I will shed a light on both views in the coming paragraphs.
First
and foremost, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason for learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is in order to travel or for the work in a foreign country.
Firstly
, when a person is travelling they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do hotel reservation, and ask the locals about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and delicious food which is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
authentic cuisine.
Secondly
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go abroad for study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young blood want less pressure while, educating.
Moreover
, children or young ones want to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "become".
becomes
independent to handle their expense at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Thirdly
, the last reason, masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to abroad
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IELTS essay some people say that the only reason of learning a language is for travel or for work. others says their are more reasons of learning a language. dicuss both views

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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