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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a wasting time? Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a wasting time? Discuss both views and give your opinion 2V7j
A highly controversial issues today relates to whether to have arts is essential subject or not. In this essay, I am going to examine both points of view and then explain why I believe the arts is essential subject for children at school. There are people who argue that the benefit of the art is an academic subject considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reasons for believing this is that art subject is given relaxation for children and its helpful to concentration to other important subjects. It is also possible to say that some children have their own ability to become a great artist which can only know about art lecture. One good illustration of this is that in my school one of the my friends became famous art teacher in all over the world because of he learnt art subject in school time. On the other hand, others believe that the are subject is a just west of time. It is often argued that art is less important subjects rather than science, mathematics and languages. People often have opinion because of students have already burden of another subjects thus adding arts is enhance their study load. A second point is that now day no job opportunities in art subjects. A particularly one example here is students always become a doctor, scientist and businessmen because of the can get more salary and leaving better life In conclusion, I believe both arguments their merits. On balance, however, I feel that teaching art is good skis for children to enhance their ability and also get relaxation but other subjects are also valuable.
A
highly
controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
or not. In this essay, I am going to examine both points of view and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at school.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reasons for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
relaxation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
helpful to concentration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It is
also
possible to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ability to become a great artist which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
lecture. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that in my school one of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my friends" or "the friends"?
the my friends
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
teacher in all over the world
Probable usage error. Use "because he" instead.
because of he
learnt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in school time.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
west of time. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than science, mathematics and languages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of students have already burden of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
thus
adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
Consider using a past participle here: "enhanced".
enhance
their study load. A second point is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
day no job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. A
particularly
one example here is students always become a doctor, scientist and businessmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more salary and leaving better life

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
skis for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enhance their ability and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
valuable.
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a wasting time? Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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