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The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? QQe9
All we are know about it that, today's technologies are developing more faster and it surrounded by us. I think about it machineries is too faster and perfect rather than workers but this invention is not sensitive, so pros of this outweigh the cons. First of all, there are many advantages of this technology is it work without any interruption and more fast rather then man worker. For instance, computers is the best example of these reason it can work like human brain and do work with perfection. Second one is robots it plays as human kind for example, automobile companies use to robo to made car bodies, paint and more and it is useful while benifit in financial and production get faster. Disadvantages of the development of technology is, this technology can not understand emotions and not a sensible. this advancement only follow the commands that is also pre-programmed. For instance, smart phones where loaded to performance continue that time it technology do misbehave and not work proper rather than human, third one is robots in automotive industry it is work batter than human but not solve any mistek and any kind of decision. In conclusion, developing technology is bless of all fector who use it, yet advantages of this technology same as disadvantages of these features.
All we are
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
know
about it that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are developing
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
and it surrounded by us. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
is too faster and perfect
rather
than workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this invention is not sensitive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pros of this outweigh the cons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without any interruption and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
worker.
For instance
, computers is the best example of these reason it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
brain and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with perfection. Second one is robots it plays as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind
for example
, automobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
robo
to made car bodies, paint and more and it is useful while
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
in financial and production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
faster. Disadvantages of the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can not understand emotions and not a sensible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
advancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
follow the commands
that is
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-programmed
.
For instance
, smart phones where loaded to performance continue that time it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
do misbehave and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
proper
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, third one is robots in automotive industry it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
batter than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not solve any
Possible spelling mistake found.
mistek
and any kind of decision.
In conclusion
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
Consider using a past participle here: "blessed", "blest".
bless
of all
Possible spelling mistake found.
fector
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it,
yet
advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
same as disadvantages of these features.

IELTS essay The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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