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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both these sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. mnpL
There are various subjects to be taught to children in school curriculum. Some like me argue that subject of art has an importance, while others consider it as unnecessary and time consuming schedule. Both these aspects are discussed in the following. Firstly, art industry provides occupation for many people around the world from artists like painters and actors or sculptors to business jobs like art dealers or gallery owners. If youngsters be indulged in art activities, they may become prepared for their future job, especially, those children with talents for arts. The second importance which springs to mind is that art is a way of communication which is understood by anyone from different languages or cultures. Children sometimes are unable to talk about their difficulties or problems with their teachers or tutors, so they illustrate their thoughts in their paintings or perform their ideas in their dancing or a piece of music they created. Art classes at school not only help students to be creative and prepared for the future but also support them to have mental health. On the other hand, some think that this time in school schedule can be dedicated to other activities such as science or mathematics due to the fact that these subjects need to be practiced more in regard to rapid pace of technology development. Moreover, number of people discuss art is not a subject to be learned and those who are talented would use it spontaneously in future. Although, I completely agree with the former group that practicing subjects more related to technology such as computer science or artificial intelligence is vital, it is most convenient that time hours for technology be expanded instead of depriving children from learning arts. While art is a creational skill but being in artistic environment can help children to be aware about their ability and work on it to become great artists so it is not logical to eliminate art at schools. In conclusion, I strongly agree that art programs at school are essential because it leads some children to find their future job and also helps them to maintain their mental health.
There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
like me argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has an importance, while others consider it as unnecessary and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
schedule. Both these aspects
are discussed
in the following.

Firstly
,
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art
industry provides occupation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world from artists like painters and actors or sculptors to business jobs like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
dealers or gallery owners. If youngsters
be indulged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
activities, they may become prepared for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job,
especially
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with talents for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. The second importance which springs to mind is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a way of communication which
is understood
by anyone from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages or cultures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
sometimes are
unable to talk about their difficulties or problems with their teachers or tutors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they illustrate their thoughts in their paintings or perform their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in their dancing or a piece of music they created.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
classes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to be creative and prepared for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support them to have mental health.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
schedule can
be dedicated
to other activities such as science or mathematics due to the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
need to
be practiced
more in regard to rapid pace of technology development.
Moreover
, number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to
be learned
and those who
are talented
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
spontaneously
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Although, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former group that practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more related to technology such as computer science or artificial intelligence is vital, it is most convenient that time hours for technology
be expanded
instead
of depriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
creational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being in artistic environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be aware about their ability and work on it to become great artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not logical to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at schools.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
programs at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain their mental health.
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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