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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion 3pjb
Art has become increasingly popular across many countries. Some people believe that it is an important subject for students at school while others believe it is not. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide my opinion. On the one hand, many people think that art is a crucial course at schools for various reasons. Although it is an extra effort apart from regular courses, individuals believe the future is bright for the employees in these fields since the salaries are high. For example, citizens who are good at theatre arts can get an opportunity to work in Hollywood films where the remunerations are high. Secondly, people specialized in certain artwork will become familiar personalities in the world. This will bring them huge name and fame which will remain even they are not alive. For instance, famous books such as Shakesphere novels will remain in people's heart forever. On the other side, some people think that art is a waste of time which is spoiling student's future. Despite there are few people who are successful in many arts, the ratio is relatively very less. To illustrate, though photography is a creative skill, very few people will become successful. Moreover, students believed in particular art and ignored their academics will regret that they have wasted a lot of time if they are unsuccessful. To give a clear example, pupils who ignored studies and concentrated only in skills will become unemployed since the success rate is very low in these creative skills. To conclude, this essay has discussed whether art is an important subject for students or it is a waste of time. In my opinion, though there are certain drawbacks, art is an essential subject for students at school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
increasingly
popular across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at school while others believe it is not. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide my opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a crucial course at schools for various reasons. Although it is an extra effort apart from regular courses, individuals believe the future is bright for the employees in these fields since the salaries are high.
For example
, citizens who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to work in Hollywood films where the remunerations are high.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specialized in certain artwork will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
familiar personalities in the world. This will bring them huge name and fame which will remain even they are not alive.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
books such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shakesphere
novels will remain in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's heart forever.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a waste of time which is spoiling student's future. Despite there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are successful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, the ratio is
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less. To illustrate, though photography is a creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
successful.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
believed
in particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
their academics will regret that they have wasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time if they are unsuccessful. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, pupils who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
studies and concentrated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
unemployed since the success rate is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low in these creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, this essay has discussed whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
or it is a waste of time. In my opinion, though there are certain drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an essential subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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