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Some people think that art is an adventure subject for children at school while other think that it is a waste of time discuss both side and give your opinion

Some people think that art is an adventure subject for children at school while other think that it is a waste of time discuss both side and give your opinion 521XQ
It is certainly true that art is play important role in everyone life. Number of individual believe that art is a vital subject for youngster at School, however other people think that it is a wastage of time. This essay will put forth all the considerable aspects related to above mentioned statement along with my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraph. To begin with, there are some significant reason on the basis of which some people support the former view. Art is important subject for children to learn at school. First and foremost that art is a mean of expression. Children needed learn to express there thoughts and feelings. If young ones study art subject at school then their brain more developed. It is often easier for young children to draw pictures then to express complex feelings in words. For example, a survey was conducted by BBC news reveals that, in America 70% of children who successful their life due to the fact they choose art subject and their school time. Moreover, art is a creative form. Art can Foster children creativity which is which is very fundamental for children career through drawing and painting can develop creative thinking which is beneficial later in life. On the other hand, people hold up later viewpoint. Numerous multitude believe that art is a waste of time because there are other more important subjects that would benefit children for their future life. Nowadays most of the parents do not want their children to become artist because doctor engineer professions are providing high income salary. If children's are study technology and Science subject then in the future they achieve good job. studying art is dog knot lead to a successful career because most of artist struggles to make a living from selling thereart. To explain, nowadays numerous artist face lot of difficulty like selling their painting because then colours are expensive and their painting sell only small amounts as well as their future is risky. To conclusions, it can be a capital letter that although both sides are having their potty factors but in in accordance with my viewpoint. I think that it is a valuable subject but should not be a main focus on any curriculum from other more important subjects. Having a balance of subject is the best way to help children develop balanced character in life.
It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Number of individual believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for youngster at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a wastage of time. This essay will put forth all the considerable aspects related to above mentioned statement along with my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant reason on the basis of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the former view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
First
and foremost that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a mean of expression.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
needed learn to express there thoughts and feelings. If young ones study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
then their brain more developed. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
easier for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to draw pictures then to express complex feelings in words.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by BBC news reveals that, in America 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who successful their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to the fact they choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a creative form.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
can Foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
creativity
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "which is".
which is which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fundamental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
career through drawing and painting can develop creative thinking which is beneficial later in life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold up later viewpoint. Numerous multitude believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a waste of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that would benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Nowadays most of the parents do not want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become artist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doctor engineer professions are providing high income salary. If children's are study technology and Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then in the future they achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is dog knot lead to a successful career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Consider using "most artist" or "most of the artist".
most of artist
struggles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living from selling
Possible spelling mistake found.
thereart
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, nowadays numerous artist face
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
difficulty like selling their painting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
are expensive and their painting sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amounts
as well
as their future is risky.

To conclusions, it can be a capital letter that although both sides are having their potty factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
accordance with my viewpoint. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should not be a main focus on any curriculum from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Having a balance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop balanced character in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an adventure subject for children at school while other think that it is a waste of time discuss both side and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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