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Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. bYAAW
Throughout the decades, as one goes through life, taking daily decisions is inevitable. A group of people thinks that letting children taking their own daily choices such as choosing what they want to eat or wear is very useful for them. Otherwise, the other group sees that it has a negative impact on them and making them think only about themselves. This essay will juxtapose these both views and finally ends with my opinion, which is I totally agree to raise an independent person. On the one hand, allowing your child to take his own decision is a very advantageous deal. To be precise, when the child is raised by letting him take his own option, it would release a strong and independent person to society. Furthermore, when he becomes a man, he could take strict decisions without hesitation and become a really responsible one. For instance, when a girl whose parents teaching her that she has the freedom to do a little action when she was young, she becomes more self-dependent and has her own rules. And I will go with this point of view. On the other hand, many people think otherwise. They think that giving the child freedom to make choices, will affect their personality in a bad way. Their orders may not be obeyed by their children and they would be so selfish and rebellious children. Moreover, they wouldn’t take others’ opinion into their consideration. For example, when a boy is raised up on just thinking about what he wants, he doesn’t consider the needs of others; consequently, he would grow up thinking about himself and be so selfish. All in all, I opine that children should have their space of freedom of taking their wanted actions, even if it is so simple. It would bring more model roles and leaders to the world.
Throughout the decades, as one goes through life, taking daily decisions is inevitable. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
that letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
daily choices such as choosing what they want to eat or wear is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for them.
Otherwise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them and making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about themselves. This essay will juxtapose these both views and
finally
ends with my opinion, which is I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to raise an independent person.

On the one hand, allowing your child to take his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous deal. To be precise, when the child
is raised
by letting him take his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
option, it would release a strong and independent person to society.
Furthermore
, when he becomes a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, he could take strict decisions without hesitation and become a
really
responsible one.
For instance
, when a girl whose parents teaching her that she has the freedom to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
action when she was young, she becomes more self-dependent and has her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. And I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
this point of view.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
otherwise
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that giving the child freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices, will affect their personality in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Their orders may not
be obeyed
by their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
selfish and rebellious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, they wouldn’t take others’ opinion into their consideration.
For example
, when a boy
is raised
up on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
thinking about what he wants, he doesn’t consider the needs of others;
consequently
, he would grow up thinking about himself and be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
selfish.

All in all, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have their space of freedom of taking their wanted actions, even if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple. It would bring more model roles and leaders to the world.
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IELTS essay Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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