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some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least of 18

some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least of 18 pe5Y3

earning money sooner than 18 is controversial issue. Almost people believe that mandatory for young people under 18 to receive full-time education. In my opinion, I would contend that learning at school brings considerable benefits for teenagers. who should obey educational rules. it is undeniable that education is vital basis to promote equality. First of all, economic problems become increasingly in some countries, which trigger hindrance for development of children. There are loads of teenagers who give up early educational environment to fend for themself through labor jobs, This is because youngers hopefully break vicious circle about poverty, although they don’t enrich basically knowledge for jobs in the future, lead to deterioration of social standard. Making staying in school at the age of 18 compulsory for all children, which is benefits for youngers in many fields and decrease rate of unemployment. It is the fact that leaving school no sooner than 18 play a vital role for development of country. Firstly, if everyone was required to complete educational goals, teenagers would be employed with high salaries because their dedications are better than that of persons, who leave school early. Awareness of studying people supply crucial information for companies that can be one of the most beneficial elements for recruiters. With the evolution of technological society, standards are more rigorous than those in the past, which require attempts of children to attain not only in education but also in life, then, they can prepare social skills for their future.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterEarning
earning
 money sooner than 18 is controversial issue. Almost This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 believe that mandatory for young This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 under 18 to receive full-time education. In my opinion, I would contend that learning at You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstituteacademyuniversityhalljailfaculty
school
 brings considerable benefits for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterWho
who
 should obey educational This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :requirements
rules
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterIt
it
 is undeniable that education is vital basis to promote equality. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, economic problems become increasingly
 in This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 countries, which trigger hindrance for development of children. There are loads of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
 who give up early educational environment to fend for The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.themselveshimselfherself
themself
 through labor jobs, This is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
Possible spelling mistake found.youngerloungers
youngers
hopefully
 break vicious circle about poverty, although they don’t enrich basically
 knowledge for jobs in the future, lead to deterioration of social standard. Making staying in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstituteacademyuniversityhalljailfaculty
school
 at the age of 18 compulsory for all children, which is benefits for Possible spelling mistake found.youngerloungers
youngers
 in This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 fields and decrease rate of unemployment.

It is the fact that leaving You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstituteacademyuniversityhalljailfaculty
school
 no sooner than 18 play a vital role for development of country. Firstly
, if everyone was required
 to complete educational goals, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
 would be employed
 with high salaries This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 their dedications are better than that of persons, who This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :depart
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstituteacademyuniversityhalljailfaculty
school
 early. Awareness of studying This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 supply crucial information for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisescorporations
companies
 that can be one of the most beneficial elements for recruiters. With the evolution of technological society, standards are more rigorous than those in the past, which require attempts of children to attain not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 in education This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
also
 in life, then, they can prepare social This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
 for their future. 