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some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least of 18

some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least of 18 pe5Y3
earning money sooner than 18 is controversial issue. Almost people believe that mandatory for young people under 18 to receive full-time education. In my opinion, I would contend that learning at school brings considerable benefits for teenagers. who should obey educational rules. it is undeniable that education is vital basis to promote equality. First of all, economic problems become increasingly in some countries, which trigger hindrance for development of children. There are loads of teenagers who give up early educational environment to fend for themself through labor jobs, This is because youngers hopefully break vicious circle about poverty, although they don’t enrich basically knowledge for jobs in the future, lead to deterioration of social standard. Making staying in school at the age of 18 compulsory for all children, which is benefits for youngers in many fields and decrease rate of unemployment. It is the fact that leaving school no sooner than 18 play a vital role for development of country. Firstly, if everyone was required to complete educational goals, teenagers would be employed with high salaries because their dedications are better than that of persons, who leave school early. Awareness of studying people supply crucial information for companies that can be one of the most beneficial elements for recruiters. With the evolution of technological society, standards are more rigorous than those in the past, which require attempts of children to attain not only in education but also in life, then, they can prepare social skills for their future.
earning
money sooner than 18 is controversial issue. Almost
people
believe that mandatory for young
people
under 18 to receive full-time education. In my opinion, I would contend that learning at
school
brings considerable benefits for
teenagers
.
who
should obey educational
rules
.

it
is undeniable that education is vital basis to promote equality.
First of all
, economic problems become
increasingly
in
some
countries, which trigger hindrance for development of children. There are loads of
teenagers
who give up early educational environment to fend for
themself
through labor jobs, This is
because
youngers
hopefully
break vicious circle about poverty, although they don’t enrich
basically
knowledge for jobs in the future, lead to deterioration of social standard. Making staying in
school
at the age of 18 compulsory for all children, which is benefits for
youngers
in
many
fields and decrease rate of unemployment.

It is the fact that leaving
school
no sooner than 18 play a vital role for development of country.
Firstly
, if everyone
was required
to complete educational goals,
teenagers
would
be employed
with high salaries
because
their dedications are better than that of persons, who
leave
school
early. Awareness of studying
people
supply crucial information for
companies
that can be one of the most beneficial elements for recruiters. With the evolution of technological society, standards are more rigorous than those in the past, which require attempts of children to attain not
only
in education
but
also
in life, then, they can prepare social
skills
for their future.
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IELTS essay some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least of 18

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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