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Moose Judiciary systems rely on Correctional Facilities that provide a second chance to criminals to reflect on their past deeds and change their social attitudes.

Moose Judiciary systems rely on Correctional Facilities that provide a second chance to criminals to reflect on their past deeds and change their social attitudes. 70JEb
Moose Judiciary systems rely on Correctional Facilities that provide a second chance to criminals to reflect on their past deeds and change their social attitudes. Some believe that those who use this chance wisely and take corrective measures in their life decisions might actually be the best people to advise teenagers not to walk down that path. While to some certain degree it is true, I believe more often than not, it might prove ineffective. It is acceptable that then criminals -now normal citizens- have some certain experience that might be useful to pass on to the next generation. after all, they understand what it is about crime and committing them that might appeal to younger Generations' taste. We're having this knowledge they can communicate better and address how futile some urges are. For instance, shoplifting is common among adolescents and if not the ultimate correctly could lead to more drastic crimes. Now, if it is explained to Young criminals that the pleasure they might gain from shoplifting is only temporary and could lead to more problematic consequences, there's a chance that they might Heed These words. On the other hand, there are flaws in letting teenagers and then criminals talk. First of all, teenagers might get the wrong idea that there is always a way back and there will always be time to change for the better, which in reality is not true, but they might not comprehend is that it is not true too many other criminals for whom it is too late to turn back. Furthermore, it is not easy talking to a young rebellious person, because their minds are set and changing it is not easy. Plus, consider the fact that teenagers consider themselves Superior to all timers, so no matter how hard one tries to give them advice, they only consider this person simply "too dumb that got caught, that would not be me". In conclusion, I think people who live from the time they spend in prison are not the ideal character who could guide the Young.
Moose Judiciary systems rely on Correctional Facilities that provide a second chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to reflect on their past deeds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their social attitudes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this chance
wisely
and take corrective measures in their life decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
actually be the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
not to walk down that path. While to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain degree it is true, I believe more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
prove ineffective.

It is acceptable that then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
normal citizens- have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain experience that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be useful to pass on to the
next
generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
all, they understand what it is about crime and committing them that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
appeal to younger Generations' taste. We're having this knowledge they can communicate better and address how futile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urges are.
For instance
, shoplifting is common among adolescents and if not the ultimate
correctly
could lead to more drastic crimes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
that the pleasure they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
gain from shoplifting is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
temporary and could lead to more problematic consequences, there's a chance that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
Heed These words.

On the other hand
, there are flaws in letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
talk.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that there is always a way back and there will always be time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the better, which in reality is not true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not comprehend is that it is not true too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for whom it is too late to turn back.
Furthermore
, it is not easy talking to a young rebellious person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their minds
are set
and changing it is not easy. Plus, consider the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
consider themselves Superior to all timers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
one tries to give them advice, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider this person
simply
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
too dumb that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
caught, that would not be me
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
from the time they spend in prison are not the ideal character who could guide the Young.
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IELTS essay Moose Judiciary systems rely on Correctional Facilities that provide a second chance to criminals to reflect on their past deeds and change their social attitudes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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