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Some people think that accept bad conditions like unsatisfied job and money short is best . Other thing that trying to improve these situations is better. Disscus both view and your opinion.

Some people think that accept bad conditions like unsatisfied job and money short is best. Other thing that trying to improve these situations is better. Disscus both view and your opinion. pJXAw
It is true that life is full of ups and downs. However, some people think that acceptance of worse conditions like unsatisfactory jobs and money shortage is best method and other think that improvement of such situation is good. To begin with, acceptance of bad situations is best at that time because when people don't have other options regarding money and jobs, it become compulsive of every individual to accept these situations.
It is true that life is full of ups and downs.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that acceptance of worse conditions like unsatisfactory jobs and money shortage
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
method and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that improvement of such situation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, acceptance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations is best at that time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't have other options regarding money and jobs, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
compulsive of every individual to accept these situations.

IELTS essay Some people think that accept bad conditions like unsatisfied job and money short is best. Other thing that trying to improve these situations is better. Disscus both view and your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
72 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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