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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Education has transformed rapidly for the last few decades. Nowadays, the community considers that kids ought to compete with their peers, whilst, some parents support their child to be more aware of teamwork rather than paying attention to the competition. This essay will discuss and scrutinize each point of view. First and foremost, the sense of competing is inevitably important, especially in this digital era. This is due to the fact that the university and employers today could easily find the student's information and achievements through the internet and compare it with the other competitors. Unless a person does not have a unique and outstanding ability, he will be easily rejected. Hence, teaching the desire to win to the children is vital for encouraging their level of competitiveness so they would survive in job-seeking. Although competition is not a single factor to measure success, at least it can not be disregarded. Nevertheless, soft-skill and teamwork are also crucial for work-life and career. The reason behind this is that many abilities and skills are gradually replaced by the existence of robots, big data, and artificial intelligence. Meanwhile, the only ability that will never be changed by technology was co-operation skill because it is a human distinctive characteristic. For instance, the research from the University of Oxford stated that in the future, more than 75% area will be done automatically leading to the fact that employers will absolutely find the most valuable person for both hard skill and soft skill for the rest 25%. As a consequence, the skill to co-operate is also urgently required. However, to be able to survive in this disruptive era, this ability overweight the need for competitiveness so it should be highlighted in education. All in all, youngsters not only need to understand how to become a winner but also how to work in a team. Personally, I do really agree that soft ability must be rewarded first. As a solution, the government should include a cooperation syllabus as one of the curricula in our education system.
Education has transformed
rapidly
for the last few decades. Nowadays, the community considers that kids ought to compete with their peers, whilst,
some
parents support their child to be more aware of teamwork
rather
than paying attention to the competition. This essay will discuss and scrutinize each point of view.

First
and foremost, the sense of competing is
inevitably
important
,
especially
in this digital era.
This is due to the fact that
the university and employers
today
could
easily
find the student's information and achievements through the internet and compare it with the other competitors. Unless a person does not have a unique and outstanding
ability
, he will be
easily
rejected.
Hence
, teaching the desire to win to the children is vital for encouraging their level of competitiveness
so
they would survive in job-seeking. Although competition is not a single factor to measure success, at least it can not
be disregarded
.

Nevertheless
, soft-
skill
and teamwork are
also
crucial for work-life and career. The reason behind this is that
many
abilities
and
skills
are
gradually
replaced by the existence of robots,
big
data, and artificial intelligence. Meanwhile, the
only
ability
that will never be
changed
by technology was co-operation
skill
because
it is a human distinctive characteristic.
For instance
, the research from the University of Oxford stated that in the future, more than 75% area will
be done
automatically
leading to the fact that employers will
absolutely
find the most valuable person for both
hard
skill
and soft
skill
for the rest 25%. As a consequence, the
skill
to co-operate is
also
urgently
required.
However
, to be able to survive in this disruptive era, this
ability
overweight the need for competitiveness
so
it should
be highlighted
in education.

All in all, youngsters not
only
need to understand how to become a winner
but
also
how to work in a team.
Personally
, I do
really
agree
that soft
ability
must
be rewarded
first
. As a solution, the
government
should include a cooperation syllabus as one of the curricula in our education system.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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