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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developed countries have always been trying to help other countries with poor living conditions through financial help. However, many research suggests that financial aid is not the best way to tackle poverty, I personally disagree that financial aid is the best form of help for under-developed countries. I believe there are many things that industrialised countries can do to help poor countries. Financial aid can be beneficial for under-develop countries when it is used wisely. This means the financial aid has to go to things that have a direct impact on minimising poverty. Unfortunately, the money usually goes to the country's government and it will be hard for the other developed countries who are trying to help to track where the fund goes. I think rich countries can have more impact on reducing poverty issue through a more direct approach. For example, I know an organisation in Australia who help children in Indonesia by building schools to help them have access to education because they are living in a remote area. Furthermore, I see a lot of organisations who are helping by sending food supplies, building water resources and funding teams around the world to tackle the human trade problem. These kinds of help definitely have a bigger impact on solving the poverty issue, since developed countries give under-developed countries access to their people's needs. In conclusion, I personally think financial aid can provide some help for under-developed countries. However, this can only be achieved through proper funding, but this can be difficult to achieve. Therefore, rich countries must think of a better way to help.
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have always been trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with poor living conditions through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
However
,
Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: “much research”, “a good deal of research”.
many research
suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is not the best way to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, I
personally
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is the best form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
Possible spelling mistake. ‘industrialised’ is British English.
industrialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor countries.

Financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
can be beneficial for under-develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
. This means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go to things that have a direct impact on
Possible spelling mistake. ‘minimising’ is British English.
minimising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Unfortunately, the money
usually
goes to the country's
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
government and
it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who are trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
where the fund goes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can have more impact on reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
issue through a more direct approach.

For example
, I know an
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
in Australia who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children in Indonesia by building schools to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them have access to education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are living in a remote area.
Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
who are helping by sending food supplies, building water resources and funding teams around the world to tackle the human trade problem. These kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
definitely have a bigger impact on solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
issue, since developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
access to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs.

In conclusion
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
through proper funding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can be difficult to achieve.
Therefore
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a better way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
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IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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