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Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. Use specific details and examples to explain your view. XJe8
Punishing children with physical force, or corporal punishment as it is also called, is something that was accepted not so long ago and people over the age of forty may well remember it. Nowadays, however, corporal punishment is against the law in most countries and adults who practise it can be taken to court. Children are always a vulnerable group and they depend on adults for protection and education. Of course, part of the growing up process is testing and breaking boundaries and it is nearly always necessary to instill discipline on a child. Whether or not it is necessary to use physical force to do so can be a very emotive subject. Supporters of corporal punishment often defend their standpoint by explaining that the corporal punishment is not, or should not be, excessive. They do not argue that a child should be beaten severely until he or she is bruised or cut. They argue that just the infliction of mild pain causes effective discipline and also the fear that it might be applied. People who grew up experiencing it might offer this point of view. Those who oppose using physical force on a child would say that the vulnerability and innocence of a child means that force should never be used. Children need to trust adults and believe that no harm will come to them. Additionally, children learn from adults and it is argued that corporal punishment will only teach children that force is an answer to various problems. It is also claimed that corporal punishment has no added benefits over other forms of discipline that do not require physical force. Using it can cause psychological harm to children and should be classed as child abuse. Personally, I do not believe that limited use of forms of corporal punishment can cause harm, and a parent who administers a mild form of it to his or her child should not be subject to criminal proceedings. Nevertheless, I would not use it myself. I can also recognise the possibilities of adults who are not a child’s parents misusing corporal punishment. Therefore, I believe that on balance physical force to discipline children should not be permitted.
Punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, or corporal
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punishment
as it is
also
called, is something that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long ago and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the age of forty may well remember it. Nowadays,
however
, corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is against the law in most countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
it can
be taken
to court.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are always a vulnerable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
they depend on
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adults
for protection and education.
Of course
, part of the growing up process is testing and breaking boundaries and it is
nearly
always necessary to instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
emotive subject.

Supporters of corporal
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punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
defend their standpoint by explaining that the corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not, or should not be, excessive. They do not argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
be beaten
severely
until he or she
is bruised
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
. They argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the infliction of mild pain causes effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
and
also
the fear that it might
be applied
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
grew up experiencing it might offer this point of view.

Those
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who
oppose using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would say that the vulnerability and innocence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
should never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need to trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
and believe that no harm will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to them.
Additionally
,
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children
learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
and it
is argued
that corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach
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children
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
is an answer to various problems. It is
also
claimed that corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
has no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
benefits over other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
that do not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
. Using it can cause psychological harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and should
be classed
as
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child
abuse.

Personally
, I do not believe that limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of forms of corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can cause harm, and a parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
administers a mild form of it to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should not be subject to criminal proceedings.
Nevertheless
, I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it myself. I can
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the possibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
parents misusing corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Therefore
, I believe that on balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be permitted
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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