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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. lByJ
Some argue that students should study the art of cooking food and some say that school time should only utilised to learnig the subjects. In my opinion both views has their positives and negatives. Firstly, The importance of learning about the science of the food and preparing it is considered as fun and engaging activity. Knowing about the fuel that runs every human is very important. Preparing and Cooking food boosts the confidence of the person which helps to improves the personality. The study has been done that the people who cooks are more likely to socialize themselves and tends to invlove in social activites as compared to those does not know how to prepare food. Thus, to improve social life of the students we need to learn the science of food. Secondly, apart from the positives of learning the science of food, some argue that the time used to learn cooking can used to learn the important subjects. It is true that we should see cooking as fun activity which we should think be more like of hobby rather than using most of our time to it. We should also focus on our subjects which is neccessary to reach our subjective goals. School should prepare the classes in order that both subjective goals and fun activites should meet. Putting most of our time to learning important subjects is also important as well as making ourselves to participate in social activites. Learning the subjects required gives students to achieve their goals professionally. Conclusively, Both studying the art of preparing and cooking food is important unless we do not neglect our important subjects to grow academically and to reach the goals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that students should study the art of cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
learnig
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In my opinion both views has their positives and negatives.

Firstly
, The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the science of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and preparing it
is considered
as fun and engaging activity. Knowing about the fuel that runs every human is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Preparing and Cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
boosts the confidence of the person which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "improve".
improves
the personality. The study has
been done
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cooks are more likely to socialize themselves and tends to
Possible spelling mistake found.
invlove
in social
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
as compared to
The verb 'does' is singular. Did you mean: "This does" or "those do"?
those does
not know how to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social life of the students we need to learn the science of food.

Secondly
, apart from the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the science of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to learn cooking can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It is true that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
cooking as fun activity which we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
be more like of hobby
rather
than using most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to it. We should
also
focus on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
to reach our subjective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. School should prepare the classes in order that both subjective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
and fun
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. Putting most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as well
as making ourselves to participate in social
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
required gives students to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
professionally
.

Conclusively
, Both studying the art of preparing and cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
unless we do not neglect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to grow
academically
and to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.

IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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