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Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. L7yp
While some people believe that what a child experiences prior to their school time is the most influential to the future life, others think that teenage experiences at school are more important. This essay will discuss both viewpoints. On the one hand, what pre-schoolers go through plays a crucial role in their adult life. Firstly, such experiences can contribute to a child's creativity. In fact, it seems effortless for children to absorb new things in life due to their brain's flexible plasticity. In addition, their developing brain can allow them to read those things in different ways, which can shape their own world view that can make them more creative. Furthermore, negatives that children are subjected to seem to take a heavy toll on their future life. Children who are victimized by bullying or abuse are more prone to become withdrawn and sensitive to society in adulthood. Thus, childhood experiences can cause a significant influence on a person's future life. On the other hand, teenage students' life experiences should not be regarded as trivial. Young people tend to change their behaviour and mindset as teenagers. When young people reach their puberty, they are likely to suffer social stress and aggression owing to their stress hormone system development. In the long run, such changes in their hormones may give rise to chronic mental problems later in life. Moreover, school time is instrumental in making a young person a well-rounded adult. Education at school can not only equip students with the fundamental knowledge needed for their prospective career but also facilitate their social awareness, such as moral code. Therefore, puberty-driven changes in teenagers' personality and schooling can affect their life as an adult. In conclusion, experiences as a pre-schooler can have an effect on their adult life. However, I believe that school time that teenagers have can equally influence adulthood. More importantly, both children and teenagers should be cared and educated appropriately.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that what a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
prior to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time is the most influential to the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay will discuss both viewpoints.

On the one hand, what
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schoolers
go through plays a crucial role in their adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
can contribute to a child's creativity. In fact, it seems effortless for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to absorb new things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to their brain's flexible plasticity.
In addition
, their developing brain can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to read those things in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, which can shape their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world view that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more creative.
Furthermore
, negatives that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are subjected
to seem to take a heavy toll on their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who
are victimized
by bullying or abuse are more prone to become withdrawn and sensitive to society in adulthood.
Thus
, childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
can cause a significant influence on a person's future life.

On the other hand
, teenage students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
should not
be regarded
as trivial. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and mindset as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. When young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reach their puberty, they are likely to suffer social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and aggression owing to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
hormone system development. In the long run, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their hormones may give rise to chronic mental problems later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time is instrumental in making a young person a well-rounded adult. Education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
equip students with the fundamental knowledge needed for their prospective career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
facilitate their social awareness, such as moral code.
Therefore
, puberty-driven
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' personality and schooling can affect their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
as an adult.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schooler
can have an effect on their adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have can
equally
influence adulthood. More
importantly
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
be cared
and educated
appropriately
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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