Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 7x2Y
It is argued that the median health status of people is to be decreased than it is now. i completely agree to this statement because obesity and invention of new medical technologies are playing pivotal role in decreasing health. Firstly, people are busy with their life due to which the time they can spend on performing exercise is decreasing which leads to obesity among people. In addition, obesity has been considered as a predisposing factors for many cardiovascular diseases ( Heart Attack, Heart Failure); resulting in low health status. for instance. A recent study conducted by American Health Association states that about 60% of the total population having overweight is likely to have more diseases. So, I think lack of physical activity among people is leading to less life expectancy and health status. Secondly, the invention of new medicine and technologies (MRI, CT scan) uses rays for diagnosing variegated diseases like Cancer. Prolonged use of this rays is likely to decrease immune system of the body, alteration of cell structure, and resistance to treatment which can disrupt normal functioning of body. For example: Use of chemotherapy reduces immunity of the body due to which people are more prone to infections which reduces quality of life. Furthermore, body will be depended on medicines which may lead to resistance thereby, altering physical health. In conclusion, I think that average health of people will continue to decline in future as people will be having more sedentary lifestyles leading to overweight and the rapid development of new technologies may lead to resistance.
It
is argued
that the median
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is to
be decreased
than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
obesity and invention of new medical technologies are playing pivotal role in decreasing health.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their life due to which the time they can spend on performing exercise is decreasing which leads to obesity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, obesity has
been considered
as a predisposing factors for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cardiovascular diseases
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Heart Attack, Heart Failure); resulting in low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance. A recent study conducted by American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Association states that about 60% of the total population having overweight is likely to have more diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
lack of physical activity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
leading to less life expectancy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status.

Secondly
, the invention of new medicine and technologies (MRI, CT scan)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
rays for diagnosing variegated diseases like Cancer. Prolonged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
rays is likely to decrease immune system of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, alteration of cell structure, and resistance to treatment which can disrupt normal functioning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
For example
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of chemotherapy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
immunity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more prone to infections which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
quality of life.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
will
be depended
on medicines which may lead to resistance thereby, altering physical health.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue to decline in future as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be having more sedentary lifestyles leading to overweight and the rapid development of new technologies may lead to resistance.

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?