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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Dll1j
The disscuse about people who agree with that student have to learn science of food in school and people who think they should be studied more important lessons in school. I whould compaire these ideas and give my personal opinion. Some people pay attention about science of food because they concern about their children's health, so they agree with this idea that schools should teach this science to students. They believe children should be known about foods and the affect of food in their health. On the other hand some people say children have to learn more important courses at the school. They believe students can learn about science of food from tv or on the internet but they can't learn more difficult courses by tv and so forth. In my opinion most people learn a lot of things at the school such as mathematics, geographics, arts and so on, but they will use specific things that they learnt at the school acording to they hobies in their life. I think there are more important courses that students should be learned such as English language, history, maternal and paternal skills and so on. I think science of food is not much important module for teaching at schools. In conclusion, there are many leassons could be teached at the school, but schools should be focused on the useful one because our children need to study skills that are useful for their life and they use these skills to improve their personality, business and life.
The
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disscuse
about
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people
who
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agree
with that
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student
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have to
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learn
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science
of
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food
in
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school
and
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people
who
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think
they should
be studied
more
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important
lessons in
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school
. I
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whould
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compaire
these
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ideas
and give my personal opinion.

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Some
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people
pay attention about
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science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
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because
they concern about their children's health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
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schools
should teach this
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science
to
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students
. They believe children should
be known
about
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foods
and the affect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their health.

On the other hand
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some
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people
say children
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have to
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learn
more
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important
courses at the
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school
. They believe
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students
can
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learn
about
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science
of
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food
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or on the internet
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but
they can't
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learn
more difficult courses by
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tv
and
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so
forth.

In my opinion most
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people
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learn
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a lot of
things at the
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school
such as mathematics,
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geographics
, arts and
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so
on,
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but
they will
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use
specific things that they
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
the
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school
Possible spelling mistake found.
acording
to they
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hobies
in their life. I
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think
there are more
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important
courses that
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students
should
be learned
such as English language, history, maternal and paternal
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skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I
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think
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science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not much
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important
module for teaching at schools.

In conclusion
, there are
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many
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leassons
could be
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teached
at the
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school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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schools
should
be focused
on the useful one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our children need to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are useful for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality, business and life.

IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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