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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? JooR5
In many aspects of life, there are some people that work harder than others. Someone may do it for payment or to own their social position. Personally, hard-working does not always bring benefits for people; it even badly influences on personal health and now, computer can be considered to replace human jobs. There are a number of motivations that make people work harder than others. The major reason may be due to the salary. No one will spend their time and their health on doing something which is free so that high payment can get people from any fields to work harder. To clarify, football players who compete in more matches will get more compensation. Moreover, most people work day and night for their social recognition. If they want to be recognized socially, they will try their best to be successful. For examples, the new employees want to be promoted to top-tier positions; then they have to apply themselves more in their job. Therefore, people usually try hard because of high salary or social recognition. In some circumstances, hard-working is not the good way to achieve the goals. Working hard in long period leads people to exhausted and stressed status. Our bodies always need time to regen so that we shouldn’t sacrifice our health to meet the purposes. For instance, staying up late will reduce the efficiency of the immune system, which helps the virus intrude us more quickly and then, we cannot continue our jobs. Nowadays, people don’t have to work hard like before due to technology development. Computer as well as AI can work in the same job but generate more productivity. To clarify, doctors couldn’t operate repetitively to get used to it; however, machine can help them in operating with higher performance and accuracy. Therefore, people needn’t to work hard in some cases. Conclusively, people normally work day and night for higher payment and social recognition. However, I am convinced that hard-working is not always good for people because we need to take a rest after each interval of work and machine now can replace manned jobs.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of life, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder than others. Someone may do it for payment or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
position.
Personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working does not always bring benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; it even
badly
influences on personal health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, computer can
be considered
to replace human jobs.

There are a number of motivations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder than others. The major reason may be due to the salary. No one will spend their time and their health on doing something which is free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that high payment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from any fields to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder. To clarify, football players who compete in more matches will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more compensation.
Moreover
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and night for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
recognition. If they want to
be recognized
socially
, they will try their best to be successful. For examples, the new employees want to
be promoted
to top-tier positions; then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apply themselves more in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high salary or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
recognition.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to achieve the goals. Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in long period leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exhausted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
status. Our bodies always need time to
Possible spelling mistake found.
regen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we shouldn’t sacrifice our health to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the purposes.
For instance
, staying up late will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the efficiency of the immune system, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the virus intrude us more
quickly
and then, we cannot continue our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
due to technology development. Computer
as well
as AI can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generate more productivity. To clarify, doctors couldn’t operate
repetitively
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it;
however
, machine can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in operating with higher performance and accuracy.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needn’t to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

Conclusively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
normally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and night for higher payment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
recognition.
However
, I
am convinced
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we need to take a rest after each interval of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and machine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can replace manned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
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IELTS essay In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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