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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. 15VOq
To begin with, I would like to state my point of view on this issue which is the fact that science of food should not be regarded as a major with less importance comparing to other scientific studying areas. First of all, preparing food or in other words cooking should not only be looked at as way of fulfilling the sense of starvation but as a combination of science and art that results in perfection. For instance, the mix of chemistry major and its laws with the beauty of art would probably result in the perfect taste one would search for in food. In addition, if these studies were not being done accommodations like restaurants or some certain events related to food would not be pleasuring or enjoyable after some point due to the fact that with no study about this issue there would not be that much of diversity when it comes to taste and these concepts certainly would become dull and nothing more than waste of money. However, it is understandable for what reason some would come out claiming that its more appropriate to spend time on supposedly essential fields of study. I think it may be in light of the fact that some majors are lacking the amount of participants that is necessary to have in order to get the needed work done. Even if this is the case I don't agree with the idea of studying food science being eliminated. To conclude, my general belief on this subject is that no field of study should be removed owing to the fact that every major is as important as the other and providing every major in school helps people to pick the area of study they actually enjoy to spend their time on. In this writing with the focus being food science major I have to mention the fact that without this major big business companies would fail and I can confidently say life would lose its interest to many of people.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I would like to state my point of view on this issue which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should not
be regarded
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
with less importance comparing to other scientific studying areas.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
in other words
cooking should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be looked
at as way of fulfilling the sense of starvation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and art that results in perfection.
For instance
, the mix of chemistry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
and its laws with the beauty of art would
probably
result in the perfect taste one would search for in food.

In addition
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
were not
being done
accommodations like restaurants or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would not be pleasuring or enjoyable after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
about this issue there would not be that much of diversity when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to taste and these concepts
certainly
would become dull and nothing more than waste of money.

However
, it is understandable for what reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out claiming that its more appropriate to spend time on
supposedly
essential fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it may be in light of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
are lacking the amount of participants
that is
necessary to have in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the needed work done.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
this is the case I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
being eliminated
.

To conclude
, my general belief on this subject is that no field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
should
be removed
owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the other and providing every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
in school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to pick the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
they actually
The verb 'enjoy' is used with the gerund form: "enjoy spending".
enjoy to spend
their time on. In this writing with the focus being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
mention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that without this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would fail and I can
confidently
say life would lose its interest to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.