Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe t...

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe t. . . qR7MX
It is believed by few individuals that economic success is crucial for a person's satisfaction, while I, like others, assist that there are numerous factors that contribute to it. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on both perspectives with suitable examples. There are tremendous reasons behind this why a section of society opine that money is play a vital for personal fulfilment due to the fact community can buy anything which they want such as mobile, a house, food items, and clothes. Owing to that they can enjoy their activity without any worries. Secondly, they can travel all over the world which give them a feeling of satisfaction. Why others factors are crucial? There are various points why nation say that family, friends, and other factors are important for everyone's life. First and foremost reason is a loveable family who is always behind them for their support consequently that they can stay a positive and happy life. For instance, if a person has any mental stress, they can share with their loved one's, and they could find instant relief from their problem because family play an indispensable role in a person's life. A life partner is also a predominant role in an individuals life. When they have an honest better half in their life, they can face any difficulty together with a smile. Despite this, some crowd find happiness while sitting with elderly people in light of the fact that they love to chit-chat with them. In conclusion, Although, money has its own important in a number of individuals life, but as per my perspective family play incredible role in one's life
It
is believed
by few individuals that economic success is crucial for a person's satisfaction, while I, like others, assist that there are numerous factors that contribute to it. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on both perspectives with suitable examples.

There are tremendous reasons behind this why a section of society opine that money is play a vital for personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
due to the fact community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything which they want such as mobile, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, food items, and clothes. Owing to that they can enjoy their activity without any worries.
Secondly
, they can travel all over the world which give them a feeling of satisfaction.

Why others factors are crucial? There are various points why nation say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, friends, and other factors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
First
and foremost reason is a loveable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who is always behind them for their support
consequently
that they can stay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, if a person has any mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, they can share with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one's, and they could find instant relief from their problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
play an indispensable role in a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner is
also
a predominant role in an
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. When they have an honest better half in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they can face any difficulty together with a smile. Despite this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "crowds"?
crowd
find happiness while sitting with elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in light of the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to chit-chat with them.

In conclusion
, Although, money has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a number of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
play incredible role in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe t. . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    The flowchart illustrates the various stages of the roduction of waste paper recycling
    The flowchart illustrates the various stages of the production of waste paper recycling by six stages. Begin to end there are clear processes for recycling. In begin, Collecting waste papers from public paper banks and relevant companies. Then, those waste papers are sorted manually by workers. For...
  • 6.5band
    Become Inspired by eating food
    Those historical stories can also serve to inspire individuals to greatness. History remembers brilliant people and their heroic acts that have changed the shape of nations. You get a huge amount of motivation from learning about the inspirational events that make up where we are today. It only tak...
  • 6.5band
    become inspired by history
    Those historical stories can also serve to inspire individuals to greatness. History remembers brilliant people and their heroic acts that have changed the shape of nations. You get a huge amount of motivation from learning about the inspirational events that make up where we are today. It only tak...
  • 5.5band
    Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them what are the causes and how to overcome it
    Nowadays, people are extremely concerned about the health of older masses. In fact, they have no time for themselves. There are several reasons behind this issue as people have hectic schedule as well as they have a lot of burden on their head. I will discuss in upcoming paragraph how this snag can ...
  • 6band
    It is important to follow fashion.
    In today's society, following fashion is very common for everyone, so it is not strange if you go out and see everyone wearing the same clothes. Many people think that following fashion is important because it can gauge your wealth and status. To my way of thinking, I am personally against that runn...
  • 6band
    To what extent children should be allowed to make own decisions on everyday matters.
    To what extent children should be allowed to make own decisions on everyday essentials such as food, clothes and entertainment is a heated topic nowadays. I hold the opinion that allowing children to make their own decisions all the time can also put the child's life at risk. Parents should regularl...